No Project Code Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

796 Results for No Project Code

View 1 - 10 results for no project code comic strips. Discover the best "No Project Code" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Bluffs On Blockchain

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Bluffs On Blockchain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #blockchain, #byte, #code, #consensus, #bluff

View Transcript

Transcript

boss in meeting: i'm no expert on blockchain, but i think... we need to get the evm stack on the bytecode so we don't run into a consensus fork. boss to ted: did that mean anything? ted: don't ask me. i'm bluffing too.

View more books now

Code Reuse

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Code Reuse - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #code, #reality, #reuse, #simulation, #software, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert talking to dilbert: well, i knew this would happen sooner or later. you're an example of code reuse, which proves this reality is a software simulation. dilbert: technically, that's not a "proof." dilbert: hello, me!

Asok Is Overpaid

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Is Overpaid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #project, #technology, #time, #pay, #argue, #math, #face mask, #salary

View Transcript

Transcript

asok: i finished my project in half the projected time. boss: that means i'm paying you twice as much as you deserve. asok: i don't think it means that at all. boss: you look dumb arguing with math.

Everyone But Ted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Everyone But Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #project, #success, #thank, #twice, #hear, #slow, #coffee, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert video conferencing: i'd like to thank everyone who made the project a huge success. except for ted, who made everything twice as hard as it needed to be. ted: i can hear you. dilbert: you're slowing us down again, ted.

Proceed As If Nothing Happened

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Proceed As If Nothing Happened - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accomplish, #business, #face mask, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #people, #project, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: why did you tell our boss i have the wrong people on my project? dilbert: i didn't say that. in fact, i don't even know what you project is trying to accomplish, much less who is working with you on it. will we now proceed as if you didn't hear me say that? tina upset: they are not the wrong people.

No Update Needed

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Update Needed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apathy, #assignment, #face mask, #managers & supervisors, #project, #robot, #sarcasm, #technology, #update

View Transcript

Transcript

asok: would you like an update on my project? boss: no, not really. i only give you the projects i don't care about. asok: i just lost my will to live. boss: that is exactly why i plan to replace you with a robot.

Quotes Out Of Context

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Quotes Out Of Context - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #business, #context, #dumb, #employment, #face mask, #malice, #managers & supervisors, #out of context, #project, #quote, #writing

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker: i don't like what you wrote about my project, so i took one of your quotes out of context, to make you look dumb, and sent it to your boss. dilbert: that won't work, because once i explain the proper context, he will see there is nothing to it. later that day. dilbert: ...so, as you can see, that quote was out of context. boss yelling: liar!!!

Tina's Soul

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina's Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #laptop computer, #project, #team, #lying, #garbage, #insult, #soul, #conscience, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

tina tying on laptop computer: "no one on the project team could have foreseen that the problem that..." tina's soul: you are a lying piece of garbage. tina: who said that? tina's soul: it's your soul. we can't hang out anymore. tina: fine. you were slowing me down.

Business Lying

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Business Lying - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #lying, #context, #important, #acceptable, #sick, #sarcasm, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: is it lying if i leave out important context from my project updates? dogbert: that's called "business lying" and it is totally acceptable. tina: but it makes me feel sick. dogbert: that's how you know you are doing it right.

Omit Information

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Omit Information - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #illness, #managers & supervisors, #business, #project, #summary, #mistakes, #ethical, #lie, #violation, #context, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: when you write the project summary, make it seem as if we didn't make any mistakes. tina: you want me to lie? that would be a massive ethical violation. boss: no, no. i only want you to omit important context. tina: why does my stomach hurt?