Non Technical Comic Strips
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211 Results for Non Technical
View 1 - 10 results for non technical comic strips. Discover the best "Non Technical" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday October 27,
2021
Non Disclosure Agreements
Sunday June 13,
2021
Non Disclosure Denied
Tags #business, #sales, #sales personnel, #nondisclosure agreement, #product, #new, #waste, #refusal, #sign, #company, #vendor, #lawyer, #idiot
Transcript
salesman: i'll need you to sign a nondisclosure agreement before i can show you our new product. dilbert: you wasted a trip here because i won't be doing that. the fact that you even asked me to sign an nda tells me your company is incompetent. dilbert: i prefer giving my business to a vendor who can show me their product without getting a lawyer involved. salesman: you could sign it without having your lawyer review it. dilbert yelling: do i look like an idiot? salesman holding out nda toward dilbert. dilbert: well? do i? salesman: only form your chin to your forehead area.
Saturday April 17,
2021
Too Technical For Boss
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #boss, #technical, #answer, #follow, #understand, #video call, #laptop, #5g, #signal, #jargon, #dumb
Transcript
dilbert and boss on video call. dilbert: my answer will be highly technical, so you might not be able to follow. boss: pfft! try me. dilbert: if the 5g node flurtifies the adjunct signal modulator, the entire neural honeycomb will transverpilate. boss: did i suddenly get dumber? dilbert: not suddenly, no.
Monday April 12,
2021
Boss Needs To Be Dumber
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #boss, #smart, #dumb, #technical, #decision, #effective, #influence
Transcript
dilbert and dogbert at home. dilbert: i think i'd be more effective at work if my boss were either smarter, so he'd understand me... or dumber, so he'd know it's better to let me make all of the technical decisions. and i can't make him smarter, so my plan is to make him dumber. dogbert: it seems i've been a bad influence.
Wednesday March 17,
2021
Non Covid Cough
Tags #covid-19, #health & safety, #exercise, #cough, #control, #infection, #face mask
Transcript
dilbert walking outside with face mask on. dilbert thinking: oh, no... i feel a non-coved cough coming on. must... control it... to avoid... looking infected. dilbert on ground holding mouth. man on sidewalk: what's up with him? women on sidewalk: he looks infected.
Saturday June 27,
2020
Credible Data
Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #credible, #data, #problem, #test, #good
Transcript
alice: i finished the data throughput tests, but the results are not credible because of a problem with the test. boss: does the non-credible data make us look good? alice: yes. boss: our name for that kind of data is "credible."
Sunday April 05,
2020
No Time Before Next Meeting
Tags #boss, #business, #care, #co-workers, #hate, #job, #lesson, #meeting, #nonesence, #procrastinate, #reality, #report, #stupid, #technical, #technology, #time
Transcript
dilbert thinking: that meeting ran long, so now i have ten minutes before the next one. i'm suppose to bring a complete technical report, and i haven't even started it. i hate this stupid job! dilbert still thinking but showing signs of distress: i hate my boss! i hate my stupid co-workers! dilbert yelling: i don't care about anything anymore! dilbert thinking and typing on laptop: i'll just angrily slap together a bunch of nonsense and call it good. grrrrrr!!! in conference room. boss: this is your bet report ever. dilbert yelling: what? dilbert at home with dogbert: today i learned a dangerous lesson about reality.
Tuesday March 17,
2020
Hiring Morons
Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #business, #technical, #job, #market, #hire, #moron, #critical
Transcript
boss: the job market is so hot right now that we can only afford to hire morons. dilbert: how will we fill our critical technical jobs? boss: i just told you.
Sunday February 23,
2020
Reading Faces
Tags #business, #meeting, #corrupt, #communists, #technology, #proposal, #reading faces
Transcript
co-worker: i can't support this project because you're all a bunch of corrupt, godless communists. dilbert: just out of curiosity, where did you get your education? co-worker: i learned everything i need to know on social media. dilbert: how does that help you evaluate a technical proposal? co-worker: it's simple. i take one look at all of your faces, and i know everything i need to know. co-worker looking at wally: i mean, look at this guy's face. he's obviously a grifter. wally: lucky guess. co-worker looking at alice: this one obviously has anger issues. dilbert: i demand a larger sample size! co-worker: whatever geek face.
Tuesday December 17,
2019
Technical Difficulties
Tags #technical, #difficulties, #meeting, #business, #conference, #call, #audio, #technology
Transcript
boss: how'd your meeting go? dilbert: we spent an hour trying to get the conference call audio to work. boss: and then? dilbert: it was a one-hour meeting.