Not Fair Comic Strips

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80 Results for Not Fair

View 1 - 10 results for not fair comic strips. Discover the best "Not Fair" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ratio Is Too High

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Ratio Is Too High - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #expense, #budget, #capital, #ratio, #too high, #afford, #standards, #historical, #irrelevant, #manage, #department

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boss: we need to reduce our expense budget to 40% of our capital budget. dilbert: why do we need to do that? boss: because the ratio is too high. dilbert: are you saying we can't afford it? boss: no. i'm saying the ratio is too high. dilbert: okay, but by what standard is it "too high"? boss: by historical standards, it has never been this high. dilbert: i don't think we want to start using an irrelevant ratio to manage the department. boss: to be fair, this is just the first time you noticed.

Old Strategy

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Old Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #meeting, #business, #strategy, #products, #sell, #fair, #price, #new

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boss in meeting: our new strategy is to make great products and sell them at a fair price. dilbert: what was our old strategy? boss: i'd rather not say.

User Complaints

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User Complaints - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #support, #business, #staff, #overwhelmed, #bonus, #product, #launch, #department, #problem, #cause, #fair

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dilbert: our tech support staff is overwhelmed because we shipped the wrong user guide with our product. boss: my bonus only depends on launching the product on time. tech support isn't my department. dilbert: you caused the problem. boss: who told you it was a fair world.

Not Fair

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Not Fair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #work from home, #fairness, #power

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tina: i hear we are not allowed to work from home because it doesn't satisfy your sick need to wield power over us in person. boss: that's not fair. tina: is it accurate? boss: let's stick with "not fair."

What If You Are In A Coma

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What If You Are In A Coma - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #cell phone, #client, #stupid, #liar, #insult, #understand, #die, #coma

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phone conversation dilbert: if you have any problems with the software, just give me a call. client: what if you die or you're in a coma? dilbert: well, in those cases i would not return your call. client: so you're lying about getting back to me. dilbert: no, i'm making a normal kind of generalization, which i assumed you would understand. client: okay, so now you're calling me stupid, and you're a liar? dilbert: if a liar calls you stupid, wouldn't that mean you are smart? client: fair point dilbert: thanks, i'm proud of it.

Layoff Package

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Layoff Package - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #fire, #office, #office workers, #buyout

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dilbert, the boss and wally at conference room table. the boss: the company is announcing generous buyout packages for employees who elect to leave. dilbert: won't all the smart people leave first because they can easily get new jobs at higher pay? the boss: ummm... dilbert: if you don't get enough volunteers, will you start firing people? the boss: we have no plan to do that. dilbert: will you make a plan if too few people leave? the boss: oh, yes. dilbert: would it be fair to say the people who stay will envy the dead? the boss: um... one week later: the boss: how many took the offer? carol: it's just you now.

Paying The Replacement More

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Paying The Replacement More - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #pay raise

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dilbert: if i were to quit, you would have to pay my replacement more than you are paying me. dilbert: wouldn't it be more fair to give me a raise to stay? the boss: how would that be fair to your replacement?

Complaining Versus Hiding

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Complaining Versus Hiding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #complaining, #employees, #employment, #jobs, #managers & supervisors

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Asok: I'm doing the job of three people and it isn't fair. Boss: Good point. Alice is doing the job of seven people. I'll give you two of her jobs to balance it out. Wally: So...is complaining better than hiding? Asok: No...you were right.

Someone Stole Phb's Idea

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 Someone Stole Phb's Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ideas, #patent, #copyright, #invention, #credit

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Boss: Hey! Someone stole my product idea! Dilbert: To be fair, your idea would have been obvious to a monkey with a drinking problem. Boss: But a monkey couldn't build this product. Dilbert: Neither can you. Let's call it a tie.

Robot Will Crush Employees

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Robot Will Crush Employees  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #boss, #manager, #threat, #artificial intelligence, #control, #power

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Robot: Thanks to advances in artificial intelligence, I am both a robot and your new boss. Work hard while I do nothing or I will crush each of your skulls with my mechanical arms. Dilbert: He's tough, but he's fair. Wally: And no micromanaging. I find it refreshing.