One Bird Comic Strips
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ceo: our strategy of being annoyingly woke in our ads caused us to have an eight billion dollar loss this quarter. but it was worth it because sometimes you have to offend some of your customers to make the others loyal. dilbert: how did you say that with a straight face? ceo: no one told you about botox?
dilbert: one positive thing about the pandemic is all the personal growth i had during the lockdown. for example, i'm no longer afraid of going to prison, so... a life of crime is more attractive than ever. dogbert: did you lose your empathy for other people? dilbert: you mean the screen faces?
dilbert: you're late. tina: how do you like it? you were three minutes late that one time last october. dilbert: and you've been plotting your revenge since then? tina: it isn't weird
dilbert: elbonian hackers stole our employee performance ranking database, and now they demand a ransom payment to give it back. boss: they can keep it. we've been ranking employees solely on their haircuts for years, and no one has complained yet. dilbert: what? boss walking away: we will speak of this no more.