One Page Report Comic Strips

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1000 Results for One Page Report

View 1 - 10 results for one page report comic strips. Discover the best "One Page Report" comics from Dilbert.com.

Bribe One Judge

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Coffee Productivity

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Coffee Productivity - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #business, #projects, #productive, #medical, #coffee, #lie, #medical-grade coffee

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wally in meeting with boss and dilbert: i've been highly productive since switching to medical-grade coffee. i finished all of my projects and did an excellent job on every one. boss: wow! dilbert and wally in hall after: so that stuff actually makes you more productive? wally: no, but it does make me lie better.

32 Page Slide Deck

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32 Page Slide Deck - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #idiot, #input, #insult, #sadist, #sarcasm, #slide deck, #technology

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co-worker: would you mind reviewing my 32-page slide deck and giving me your thoughts? dilbert: my thoughts are that only a sadist or an idiot would make a 32-page slide deck. co-worker: you'll never guess which one i am. dilbert: i feel as if i could.

Credit Goes To Boss

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Credit Goes To Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #business, #culture, #idea, #managers & supervisors, #ownership, #report, #technology

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boss: i realize this report has dilbert's name on it, but the credit goes to me. because i ordered him to do it. dilbert: actually, i came up with the idea and wrote it on my own time. boss: well, i created the culture that made it all possible. dilbert yelling: i did the work!!!

Lover Not A Fighter

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Lover Not A Fighter - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #software, #price, #lover, #fighter, #report, #human resources, #bully, #sexual discrimination

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dilbert: i'd fight with you on the price of this software, but i'm more of a lover than a fighter. female software vendor: are you hitting on me? you'd better buy my software now, or i'll report you to your own human resources. dilbert: okay. okay. i'll do anything you want. female software vendor: wow. you were right when you said you're not a fighter.

Jumping Out A Window

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Jumping Out A Window - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #boss, #listen, #repeat, #jump, #window, #bluff, #reiterate, #parachute

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dilbert: if i have to listen to you repeat that same point one more time, i'm going to jump out a window. boss: that sounds like a bluff. dilbert: i packed a parachute. boss: ...anyway, to reiterate... parachuter floating beside building.

Quotes Out Of Context

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Quotes Out Of Context  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #business, #context, #dumb, #employment, #face mask, #malice, #managers & supervisors, #out of context, #project, #quote, #writing

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co-worker: i don't like what you wrote about my project, so i took one of your quotes out of context, to make you look dumb, and sent it to your boss. dilbert: that won't work, because once i explain the proper context, he will see there is nothing to it. later that day. dilbert: ...so, as you can see, that quote was out of context. boss yelling: liar!!!

Karma And Wally

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Karma And Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #family & parenting, #office workers, #name, #karma, #Advice, #discuss, #face mask

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wally: why did your parents name you karma? karma: i don't have parents. i am karma. wally: i suppose we have lots to discuss. karma: let's start with volume one.

Karma Is Real

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Karma Is Real - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employment, #managers & supervisors, #business, #team, #karma, #name, #new, #team member, #hide, #face mask

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dilbert: do you think karma is real? wally: nah. boss: i'd like you to meet the newest member of our team. his name is karma. dilbert: if you need me, i'll be hiding. karma: i hear one of you has been bad.

Tina's Soul

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Tina's Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #laptop computer, #project, #team, #lying, #garbage, #insult, #soul, #conscience, #face mask

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tina tying on laptop computer: "no one on the project team could have foreseen that the problem that..." tina's soul: you are a lying piece of garbage. tina: who said that? tina's soul: it's your soul. we can't hang out anymore. tina: fine. you were slowing me down.