One Project Comic Strips
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1000 Results for One Project
View 1 - 10 results for one project comic strips. Discover the best "One Project" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday July 21,
2022
Only One Choice
Saturday April 09,
2022
The One Good Prediction
Tuesday July 27,
2021
One On One Meetings
Friday July 09,
2021
New Loyal Customers
Tags #business, #meeting, #ceo, #woke, #advertising, #dollars, #loss, #quarter, #offend, #straight face, #botox, #annoying
Transcript
ceo: our strategy of being annoyingly woke in our ads caused us to have an eight billion dollar loss this quarter. but it was worth it because sometimes you have to offend some of your customers to make the others loyal. dilbert: how did you say that with a straight face? ceo: no one told you about botox?
Wednesday July 07,
2021
Personal Growth
Tags #pandemic, #positive, #personal growth, #lockdown, #afraid, #fear, #prison, #life of crime, #attraction, #empathy, #people, #screen faces
Transcript
dilbert: one positive thing about the pandemic is all the personal growth i had during the lockdown. for example, i'm no longer afraid of going to prison, so... a life of crime is more attractive than ever. dogbert: did you lose your empathy for other people? dilbert: you mean the screen faces?
Friday June 18,
2021
Wally Helps The New Guy
Tags #business, #office workers, #training, #new, #employment
Transcript
dilbert: wally, explain to the new guy what he needs to know about the project. wally: our pdr system is downstairs from the qrd data and the bmr, so don't order a gref or else the plr will get boodled. panel shows office building with man jumping out of window, voice: i quit
Wednesday June 16,
2021
Tina Is Late For Revenge
Tags #business, #office workers, #late, #meeting, #punctual, #three, #minutes, #plotting, #revenge, #sarcasm, #october
Transcript
dilbert: you're late. tina: how do you like it? you were three minutes late that one time last october. dilbert: and you've been plotting your revenge since then? tina: it isn't weird
Monday June 14,
2021
Elbonian Hackers Attack
Tags #business, #business ethics, #elbonian, #hackers, #attack, #stole, #database, #ranking, #employee, #haircuts, #sarcasm
Transcript
dilbert: elbonian hackers stole our employee performance ranking database, and now they demand a ransom payment to give it back. boss: they can keep it. we've been ranking employees solely on their haircuts for years, and no one has complained yet. dilbert: what? boss walking away: we will speak of this no more.
Monday June 07,
2021
Never Admit You Are Wrong
Tags #business, #office relationships, #wrong, #admit, #pride, #cumulative, #clouds, #speachless, #example
Transcript
tina: you never admit you're wrong. dilbert: give me one example of that. tina: well, for example, there was the time you said there were no such things as "cumulative" clouds. panel changes to office building. tina: to this day, you have not admitted you were wrong. dilbert: um...
Sunday June 06,
2021
Anonymous Sources
Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #company, #anonymous, #credibility, #trust, #lie, #thief, #sources
Transcript
boss: anonymous sources tell me you have been stealing from the company. dilbert: anonymous sources have no credibility. boss: that's exactly what they told me you'd say. dilbert: why do you trust them over me? boss: well, for one thing, i hear you're a thief. dilbert: you heard that from the anonymous sources that have no credibility! boss: why would they lie to me? dilbert: same reason you lie to me. boss: okay, that makes sense.