Organic Vessel Comic Strips

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14 Results for Organic Vessel

View 1 - 10 results for organic vessel comic strips. Discover the best "Organic Vessel" comics from Dilbert.com.

Sarcasm Empty Vessel

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Sarcasm Empty Vessel - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jokes, #office workers, #sarcasm, #millennial, #smartphone

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Man: Wow, that's a great idea. Let's just do that! LOL! Dilbert: I've noticed that you are nothing but an empty vessel for transporting sarcasm. Man: Oooh! I'm such an empty vessel! LOL! Dilbert: I don't know what to do with all of this.

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Present Company Excluded

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Present Company Excluded - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #carol, #virtual, #human, #organic, #cheated, #present, #excluded, #problem

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Dilbert: I just spent three days using virtual reality with no human contact whatsoever. Now every time I interact with an organic human, I feel cheated. Carol: Present company excluded? Dilbert: Here's another problem I never have in virtual reality.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #military, #office workers, #survival, #hero

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Boss: This is our new employee, Mark. Mark was a navy SEAL. He fought in three separate conflicts. He once fought off a hundred insurgents and saved a town. Show Mark how we roll at this company. Dilbert: Today I'll be reformatting my PowerPoint deck because someone said the design is not organic. Mark: What's that mean? Dilbert: It doesn't matter. I'll just push some things around and hope the guy who complained doesn't attend the next meeting. Mark: How do you survive this place? Dilbert: I don't like to use the word "hero."

Immersive Vr Is Immortal

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Immersive Vr Is Immortal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #virtual reality, #vr, #mortality, #immortal, #human, #ai, #artificial intelligence

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Narrator: Kevin, the immersive VR employee. Dilbert: I have to keep reminding myself that you don't really exist. Kevin: I have to keep reminding myself that your organic personality was long ago replaced with prescription medications. Dilbert: At least I'm real! Kevin: At least I'm immortal. Tick-tock. Tick-tock.

Dilbert Goes To Jail

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Dilbert Goes To Jail - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #guilt, #innocence, #cyborg, #crime, #criminal, #fair, #fairness, #punishment, #jail, #responsibility

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Dilbert: You're arresting me for killing Ted, but a bug in my cyborg components made me do it. If I go to jail, you will remove the cyborg parts that caused the trouble and punish the organic parts of me that are innocent. Police Officer: It's funny when you put it that way.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #embarrassment, #inventions, #good news, #fuel source, #organic waste material, #awkward

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Dilbert: the good news is that we're going to test a new furl source for you. The bad news is that the fun source is organic waste material. Irs awkward for me too. Just close your eyes , ok?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #organic parts, #cyborg technology, #robot, #relationships

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Dating in 2018 Woman: Your organic parts are unimpressive. But, wow, your cyborg technology is scorching hot. Dilbert: I knew my day would come. Woman: I want to make a robot with you.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee, #coffee & tea, #energy source, #laziness, #organic devices, #plant seeds

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Wally: This week I tested a source of energy that can power organic devices. It's made from plant seeds and water. Boss: Is the energy source called coffee? Wally: Let's talk about Dilbert's project. I hear it's a mess.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #disc jockeys, #protest movements, #threatening boycott, #dogcart insulted, #organic substance

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Dilbert: Customers are threatening to boycott us if we continue to advertise on Dogbert's radio show. Dogbert insulted every man, woman, child and organic substance in the known universe. He called the moon something that rhymes with totem. Boss: Modem?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #focusing on bandwidth, #organic growth, #table an issue, #sudebar, #managing expectations, #ducks in a row, #no project

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The Boss: "Wally, what's the status of your project?" Wally: "Deep breath.. clear my mind..." "I've been focusing my bandwidth on organic growth." "I'm getting lots of push-back, so I'm taking the discussions offline." "But sometimes I table an issue or handle it in a side bar." "Now I have my ducks in a row. The deal-breakers are on the back burner, and I'm managing expectations." The Boss: "Okay... keep up the good work." Dilbert: "Wally, you don't have a project." "What? Then why am I so tired?"