Out Of Business Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Out Of Business

View 1 - 10 results for out of business comic strips. Discover the best "Out Of Business" comics from Dilbert.com.

Anonymous Sources

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Anonymous Sources - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #company, #anonymous, #credibility, #trust, #lie, #thief, #sources

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: anonymous sources tell me you have been stealing from the company. dilbert: anonymous sources have no credibility. boss: that's exactly what they told me you'd say. dilbert: why do you trust them over me? boss: well, for one thing, i hear you're a thief. dilbert: you heard that from the anonymous sources that have no credibility! boss: why would they lie to me? dilbert: same reason you lie to me. boss: okay, that makes sense.

Frequent Victims Club

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Frequent Victims Club - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #join, #frequent, #victim, #club, #beverage, #minute, #dollar, #track, #purchases, #sell, #data, #colleagues, #stores, #customer, #servey

View Transcript

Transcript

man with red apron: would you like to join our frequent victims club? dilbert: no, i just want to buy this beverage. man: you could save a dollar if you join now. it only takes a minute. dilbert: i don't want you tracking my purchases and selling my data. man: i you don't sign up, my colleagues and i will pester you to do it every time you try to buy something. dilbert: i'll take my business elsewhere! man: no. you won't. because other stores are just as bad as we are. dilbert: i am not a victim! man: tell that to the customer survey i'm about to pester you into doing.

Chewing A Pen

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Chewing A Pen - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #business, #video call, #camera, #chewing, #pen, #house, #nose, #address

View Transcript

Transcript

alice on video call. alice: please stop leaning into the camera while chewing the end of your pen. it makes me want to drive to your house and shove that pen up your nose. male office worker: but you won't do that, right? alice: what's your address?

Men Are Stupid Pigs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Men Are Stupid Pigs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #complaint, #office, #stupid, #pigs, #Men, #specific, #i.q., #visayan warty

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: i have a complaint about the men in the office. catbert: all of them? tina: yes, they're all stupid pigs. catbert: can you be more specific? tina: okay, they're basically visayan warty pigs in the i.q. range of 20 to 40.

Dilbert Makes A Friend

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Makes A Friend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #work, #news, #friend, #social media, #monster, #check, #fooled, #posts

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and dogbert at home. dilbert: good news. i made a friend at work. dogbert: have you checked his social media posts? dilbert yelling: he's a monster! dogbert: that's why we check.

Opposition Research

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Opposition Research - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #accomplishments, #year, #opposition, #research, #co-workers, #ranking, #employees, #idea

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: it might seem as though i accomplished very little this year. and that's true. but i also have a trove of opposition research on my co-workers. boss: what? wally: ranking employees against one another was your best idea ever.

Nominate A Coworker

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Nominate A Coworker - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #months, #recommendations, #co-workers, #office workers, #recognize, #superior, #work, #nominated, #honest, #idea, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: two months ago, i asked you all for recommendations on co-workers who should be recognized for superior work. on day one, you all nominated yourselves. since then it has been quiet. dilbert: if i'm being honest, it wasn't one of your brightest ideas.

Ted Is Great But Not Enough

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Is Great But Not Enough  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #comparison, #managers & supervisors, #performance, #employment, #exceptional, #fired, #universe, #sense, #complain, #reverse psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: ted, your performance this year has been exceptional. but everyone else was even better, so...you're fired. ted: in what universe does that even make sense? boss: you also complain too much.

Million Dollar Bonuses

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Million Dollar Bonuses - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #deadline, #project, #million-dollar, #recommendation, #lying, #clock, #weeks, #spirit, #bonus, #mad, #finished, #no, #laptop, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: if you finish by the deadline, i'll recommend you for a million dollar bonus. dilbert: you're lying. boss: i'm serious. dilbert: but you're also lying. boss: only one way to find out. dilbert: i'd need to work around the clock for weeks to meet the deadline. boss: that's the spirit! dilbert: if you're lying about the bonus, i'm going to be boiling mad. five weeks later. dilbert: it nearly killed me, but i finished by the deadline. where's my million dollar bonus. boss: i told you i'd recommend it. they said no.

Forty Minutes Late

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Forty Minutes Late - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #jerk, #late, #minutes, #punish, #sarcasm, #technology, #waiting, #cell phone

View Transcript

Transcript

voice from Dilbert's cell phone: i'll be forty minutes late. dilbert: i just wasted twenty minutes waiting! why didn't you tell me as soon as you knew? voice from phone: because i knew you would be a jerk about it. so i punished you. dilbert: oh.