Pain Comic Strips
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60 Results for Pain
View 1 - 10 results for pain comic strips. Discover the best "Pain" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday May 05,
2021
Dick Tells A Rumor
Tags business, workplace, coworkers, people, gossip, malice, slander, pointless, pain, nemesis, office workers
Transcript
dick: hi, i'm dick, your workplace nemesis. dilbert: i know who you are. dick: people are saying terrible things about you behind your back, but i can't tell you who they are or what they are saying. dilbert: what is the point of telling me that? dick: have i mentioned i feed on your pain.
Sunday November 29,
2020
Dogbert Does Telemedicine
Tags business, technology, telemedicine, time, doctor, health, pain, rake, leaves, medicine
Transcript
dogbert: i started doing telemedicine in my spare time. Dilbert: don't you need to be a doctor to do that? dogbert: technically, yes. but i found a workaround. dilbert: which is? dogbert: i tell people i'm a doctor. patient: doctor, i have a sharp pain in the back of my thigh. dogbert: are you sitting on a rake? patient: that's a weird question. oh. wait, i am. what should i do? dogbert: try picking up leaves with your hands.
Sunday October 13,
2019
Performance Versus Pay
Tags angry, big business, employees, irritation, managers & supervisors, money, salary
Transcript
Boss: I can't give you a bonus this year because we paid too much to buy another company. Dilbert: Are you saying my efforts and my rewards are no longer linked? Boss: Noooo. I'm not saying anything like that. I'm just saying your compensation isn't influenced by your performance. Dilbert: That's the same thing! Boss: Teamwork means we all share the rewards and we all have to share the pain. Dilbert: Does that mean management won't be getting bonuses either? Boss: Now you've made it awkward.
Tuesday April 24,
2018
Totally Painless Brain Removal
Tags cryogenic, science, lab, pain, experiment
Transcript
Narrator: Dogbert's Cryogenic Investment Advice. Dogbert: We'll remove your brain and freeze it until your investments are worth a fortune. Man: Does it hurt? Dogbert: Totally painless. Man: Aaaagh! It hurts! Dogbert: Oh. I thought we were talking about me.
Friday February 23,
2018
Listening To A Millenial
Tags millennial, malaise, melancholy
Transcript
Dilbert: I didn't accomplish anything this week because I made the mistake of talking to a millennial. It sucked the ambition out of me. Now I'm nothing but an empty husk of pain and pointlessness. Boss: Walk it off. Dilbert: I need a job that pays me for listening to my favorite music.
Thursday September 14,
2017
Emptiness And Pain
Tags pain, emptiness, soul, work ethic, motivation
Transcript
Dilbert: This is Randy, our new employee who has no soul. Tina: Wow. What's it like to have no soul? Randy: I feel only emptiness and pain. Tina: I hope you didn't take this job to get away from emptiness and pain. Randy: No, I just wanted to get paid for it.
Monday November 21,
2016
Seventeen Hour Flight To Elbonia
Tags fair, comfort, flying, money, budget, cost, selfish
Transcript
Dilbert: The flight to Elbonia is seventeen hours. Can I fly business class? Boss: No, because your pain will be temporary, but I won't get my bonus if I go over budget. Try being a team player for once. Dilbert: I didn't know Satan had a team.
Friday February 12,
2016
The Root Cause Of Bad Posture
Tags posture, health, work ethic, laziness, back pain
Transcript
Dilbert: How do you keep your posture so straight? Wally: It's easy. You have to understand the root cause of your poor posture before you can eliminate it. Dilbert: Bad ergonomics? Wally: Work.
Tuesday October 20,
2015
Wally Has A Sitting Injury
Tags injury, sitting, human resources, complaint, stress, hurt, health, business
Transcript
Wally: I need to report a work-related injury. Studies say extended sitting can increase stress. I sat in my cubicle and got all stressed out. Catbert: You have a sitting injury? Wally: Don't trivialize my pain.
Monday October 06,
2014
Tags joking, laughter, medicine, neck pain, sleep, sound wise, slept wrong, employee, employer, health
Transcript
Boss: My neck is killing me. I must have slept wrong. Dilbert: Ha ha ha! You can't even sleep right! I'm doing you a favor because laughter is the best medicine. Hee hee! Boss: Why does that no longer sound wise?!!

