Pain Meds Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

73 Results for Pain Meds

View 1 - 10 results for pain meds comic strips. Discover the best "Pain Meds" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dick Tells A Rumor

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dick Tells A Rumor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #workplace, #coworkers, #people, #gossip, #malice, #slander, #pointless, #pain, #nemesis, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

dick: hi, i'm dick, your workplace nemesis. dilbert: i know who you are. dick: people are saying terrible things about you behind your back, but i can't tell you who they are or what they are saying. dilbert: what is the point of telling me that? dick: have i mentioned i feed on your pain.

Dogbert Does Telemedicine

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Does Telemedicine - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #telemedicine, #time, #doctor, #health, #pain, #rake, #leaves, #medicine

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i started doing telemedicine in my spare time. Dilbert: don't you need to be a doctor to do that? dogbert: technically, yes. but i found a workaround. dilbert: which is? dogbert: i tell people i'm a doctor. patient: doctor, i have a sharp pain in the back of my thigh. dogbert: are you sitting on a rake? patient: that's a weird question. oh. wait, i am. what should i do? dogbert: try picking up leaves with your hands.

Brain Fog

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Brain Fog - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #co-workers, #business, #health, #meds, #i.q., #handsome, #name

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i have brain fog from the meds i took last night. my i.q. is down by 50%, but i make up for it by being handsome. alice: sounds more like a 75% situation. dilbert: now, can someone remind me of my name?

Smarter Than An Engineer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Smarter Than An Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #health, #allergy, #brain, #fog, #i.q., #smart, #engineer

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i took allergy meds last night, and now i have brain fog. my i.q. is about 50% of normal capacity. boss: whoo-hoo! i'm smarter than an engineer! dilbert: not quite. i'm only down by 50%.

Performance Versus Pay

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Performance Versus Pay - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #angry, #big business, #employees, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #money, #salary

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't give you a bonus this year because we paid too much to buy another company. Dilbert: Are you saying my efforts and my rewards are no longer linked? Boss: Noooo. I'm not saying anything like that. I'm just saying your compensation isn't influenced by your performance. Dilbert: That's the same thing! Boss: Teamwork means we all share the rewards and we all have to share the pain. Dilbert: Does that mean management won't be getting bonuses either? Boss: Now you've made it awkward.

Loss Of Libido

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Loss Of Libido - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #doctors, #marriage, #medicines, #relations between the sexes, #sex

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: My new meds totally eliminated my libido. But my doctor says I need them. Dilbert: Does your wife mind? Man: Not since she started dating my doctor.

Totally Painless Brain Removal

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Totally Painless Brain Removal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cryogenic, #science, #lab, #pain, #experiment

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert's Cryogenic Investment Advice. Dogbert: We'll remove your brain and freeze it until your investments are worth a fortune. Man: Does it hurt? Dogbert: Totally painless. Man: Aaaagh! It hurts! Dogbert: Oh. I thought we were talking about me.

Listening To A Millenial

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Listening To A Millenial - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #millennial, #malaise, #melancholy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I didn't accomplish anything this week because I made the mistake of talking to a millennial. It sucked the ambition out of me. Now I'm nothing but an empty husk of pain and pointlessness. Boss: Walk it off. Dilbert: I need a job that pays me for listening to my favorite music.

Emptiness And Pain

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Emptiness And Pain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pain, #emptiness, #soul, #work ethic, #motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: This is Randy, our new employee who has no soul. Tina: Wow. What's it like to have no soul? Randy: I feel only emptiness and pain. Tina: I hope you didn't take this job to get away from emptiness and pain. Randy: No, I just wanted to get paid for it.

Seventeen Hour Flight To Elbonia

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Seventeen Hour Flight To Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fair, #comfort, #flying, #money, #budget, #cost, #selfish

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The flight to Elbonia is seventeen hours. Can I fly business class? Boss: No, because your pain will be temporary, but I won't get my bonus if I go over budget. Try being a team player for once. Dilbert: I didn't know Satan had a team.