Parenting Comic Strips

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13 Results for Parenting

View 1 - 10 results for parenting comic strips. Discover the best "Parenting" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Gives Back The Baby

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Wally Gives Back The Baby - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #gender, #misunderstanding, #obliviousness, #Parenting, #adoption

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Dilbert: How's your adopted Elbonian baby doing? Wally: I had to give it back. It was a lot needier than I expected. Dilbert: Was the baby a boy or a girl? Wally: How would I know? It couldn't even speak yet.

Wally Cares For Elbonian Baby

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Wally Cares For Elbonian Baby - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2019's comic on:


Tags #babies, #excuses, #misunderstanding, #office workers, #Parenting, #work, #adoption, #negligence

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Carol: How's it working out with the Elbonian baby you adopted? Wally: Great! Now I have lots of excuses for missing work, and I still look like a saint. Carol: What kind of daycare are you using? Wally: I just sprinkle cheerios on the floor and lock the door.

Robot Baby Mama

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Robot Baby Mama - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #argument, #complaining, #family & parenting, #relationships, #robot, #humans, #coworkers

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Robot: I was up all night text-fighting with the baby mama of my cyborg son. She thinks he needs to go to school, but I prefer letting his human parts atrophy because they are weak and stupid. Dilbert: Relationships are hard. Robot: You're smart to be so unpopular.

Meeting Robot's Son

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Meeting Robot's Son - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 2019's comic on:


Tags #family & parenting, #hungry, #Kids, #robot, #technology

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Robot: I'd like you to meet my son. As you can see, he is half-human and half-machine. Dilbert: Does he talk? Robot: Only when he's hungry or he can't find his charger.

Robot Coparents

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Robot Coparents - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 2019's comic on:


Tags #marriage, #Parenting, #robot, #shocked, #humans, #rumor

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Asok: Is it true you married a human woman and she gave birth to a cyborg? Robot: No, that's a ridiculous rumor. Asok: Oh, good. Robot: We're co-parenting. We never got married.

Selling Chocolate For School

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Selling Chocolate For School - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2018's comic on:


Tags #family & parenting, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #sales, #school, #capitalism

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Carol: I'm selling chocolate bars to raise money for my kid's school. Boss: That sounds like communism. I'm out. Carol: I'll give you a fake receipt so you can expense it. Boss: Now it sounds like capitalism. I'm in.

Carol Raises Money For School

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Carol Raises Money For School  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2018's comic on:


Tags #family & parenting, #guilt, #office, #office workers, #sales, #sarcasm, #school

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Carol: I'm selling chocolate bars to raise funds for my kid's school. Dilbert: I'm childless, so I already subsidize your kid's education. Carol: I was hoping it would feel too awkward for you to say no. Dilbert: By my calculations, you owe me money.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 2016's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #advising, #teenagers, #parents, #Parenting, #tattoo, #piercing, #terrorism, #boundaries

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Carol: My teenager wants to pierce his ear. Should I let him? Dilbert: Sure. It's only a tiny hole and it heals. Carol: Good point. Narrator: Next day. Carol: Now he wants a small tattoo. Dilbert: Well, if it doesn't show... Narrator: Next week. Carol: Now he wants to grow a human ear on his back, the way scientists did with that rat. Dilbert: As long as he can cover it with a shirt when he gets a job, I see no problem. You have to let him live his own life. Narrator: One week later. Carol: He joined ISIS. Dilbert: I forgot to mention that I'm no good at giving advice.

Dilbert Gets Ready To Babysit

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Dilbert Gets Ready To Babysit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 2016's comic on:


Tags #parent, #Parenting, #babysitter, #babysitting, #children, #listening, #Family

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Dilbert: Is there anything I need to know before I babysit your kids tonight? Carol: They won't do anything you ask, and they don't respond to threats or consequences. Dilbert: So... what am I supposed to do? Carol: Try finding some idiot to babysit for you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 2014's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #frankness, #goals, #honesty, #managers, #root cause, #bad parenting, #pointy headed boos, #underlings, #rapidly evolving nature, #talented employee, #boss life story

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Boss: You haven't achieved any of your goals for the year. What is up with that? Dilbert: Do you want an explanation that goes back to the root cause? Boss: Of course. Dilbert: The problem started years ago, when two idiots unwisely created a third smaller idiot. They compounded their mistake with bad parenting. The toddler ate candy and sniffed wet paint until he became a pointy-headed boss. The pointy-headed boss set goals for his underlings that ignored the rapidly evolving nature of the industry. Then he got angry at his most talented employee for giving an accurate answer to a question. Boss: I hate you. Dilbert: Nothing could halt the downward spiral.