Planning Number Comic Strips
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223 Results for Planning Number
View 1 - 10 results for planning number comic strips. Discover the best "Planning Number" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday May 10,
2019
Bad Planning
Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #teamwork, #team, #deadline
Transcript
ted: i need your help on my project today, or i'll miss my deadline. dilbert: are you trying to turn your lack of planning into my problem? ted: i was hoping you would be a team player. dilbert: i'm holding out for an offer from a better team.
Sunday February 17,
2019
Tags #distraction, #exercise & fitness, #frustration, #lunch, #office workers, #time, #walking, #coworkers
Transcript
Dilbert: Would you like to take a long walk with me at lunch to get some exercise? Tina: That's a great idea! Dilbert: Okay, I'll come get you at noon. Ready? Tina: Yes, I only need ten minutes to finish this. Dilbert: I only have an hour for lunch, and your ten minutes will turn into twenty. Tina: That's okay because I wore heels today and I can't walk more than a block anyway. Dilbert: Why did you agree to take a long walk if you couldn't take a long walk? Tina: Because I was planning to walk to the store on the corner to do an errand anyway. Dilbert: You've ruined my walk! Tina: Just give me forty minutes to wrap this up.
Wednesday January 30,
2019
Best Product
Tags #criticism, #jokes, #meetings, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #presentation
Transcript
Ted: As you can see from this chart, our product has been rated number one for six years in a row. Dilbert: Why does your chart stop four years ago? Ted: I'll bet you don't get invited to a lot of parties. Dilbert: That's just a lucky guess.
Sunday June 10,
2018
Tags #competition, #replacement, #hiring, #job description
Transcript
Boss: Wally, I need you to write up your job description for me. Wally: Is that because you're planning to hire someone to replace me? Boss: I need it by tomorrow. Wally: Job description: leverage platform technologies to maximize software architecture optimization via nanotubes. Here you go. Boss: Can you start on Monday? Man: I changed my mind.
Thursday July 20,
2017
Adding A Feature
Tags #technology, #design, #changes, #planning, #managers
Transcript
Boss: Add this feature to the software. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Why didn't you ask for this weeks ago when it would have been easy???? Boss: This is nothing. Wait until you see the feature I ask for next week.
Sunday June 25,
2017
Tags #time machine, #time travel, #experiment, #algorithm, #planning, #mistake, #error, #science
Transcript
Boss; Ted, we need a volunteer to test the time machine prototype. Ted: Is it safe? Boss: Of course it is. Would I ask you to risk your life if it were not safe? Ted: Yes. Boss: Oh, I didn't realize you knew that. But don't worry. The engineering consensus is that it will work. Dilbert: You will return to this exact spot in one day. Alice: Does our location algorithm account for planetary movement? Ted: I should have asked more questions.
Wednesday March 15,
2017
Craving Vacation
Tags #vacation, #conversation, #work, #workload, #annoy, #annoyance
Transcript
Tine: I hear you have some vacation days coming. Planning anything big? Dilbert: I plan to catch up on all the work I couldn't get done here because people keep interrupting me. Tina: That's a sad vacation. Dilbert: Then why am I craving it right now?
Tuesday January 24,
2017
Trust The Boss
Tags #trust, #confidence, #vampire, #dead, #trustworthy
Transcript
Boss: We're not planning any changes, trust me. Dilbert: Trust you? I've seen your browser history. I wouldn't trust you to guard a funeral home. Boss: That's the easiest job ever. Just drive stakes through the hearts of the dead and they'll stay put. Dilbert: To my point.
Monday April 11,
2016
The Science Of Astrology
Tags #Astrology, #metaphysics, #science, #planning, #sign, #zodiac, #pseudoscience
Transcript
Carol: I'll need to know your astrological sign before I put you on his schedule. In the old days, I just gave people the first available slot. It was chaos. Dilbert: So now you use the science of astrology? Carol: It's better than science. It's an art.
Friday April 01,
2016
Random Number Generator
Tags #projection, #money, #prediction, #unrealistic expectations, #numbers, #obliviousness, #guest artist, #donna oatney
Transcript
Boss: Can you get me more details on the financial projections? Dilbert: Sure. I wrote an app that generates random numbers, just in case you asked for them. Boss: 17, 4, 962... Yes, this looks about right.