Pray To Money Comic Strips
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618 Results for Pray To Money
View 1 - 10 results for pray to money comic strips. Discover the best "Pray To Money" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday February 23,
2022
Best Way To Make Money
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Tuesday April 27,
2021
Bookshelves On Zoom
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #update, #video call, #zoom, #client, #lost, #respect, #staged, #bookshelves, #money, #payment, #deserve, #background
Transcript
boss and alice on video call. boss: how did your zoom call with the client work out? alice: i lost all respect for him after seeing his poorly staged bookshelves in the background. but we'll still take his money, right? alice: yes, he doesn't deserve to keep any of it.
Thursday April 01,
2021
Ruined The Stock Price
Tags #business, #technology, #stock, #subordinate, #inappropriate, #behavior, #bonus, #money, #paper towel, #ceo, #work
Transcript
boss: our stock is down because seventy-three subordinates accused our ceo of inappropriate behavior at work. so i can't give you a bonus even though your work was excellent. co-worker's head explodes: Boom!!! Carol: how'd he take it? Boss: grab some paper towels.
Saturday January 02,
2021
Audit Blackmail
Tags #business ethics, #business, #audit, #software, #blackmail, #free, #network, #money, #dollars
Transcript
dogbert: my audit of your company has uncovered a number of software vulnerabilities. for example, a blackmailer could take control of your network and make you pay a billion dollars to get it back. ceo: good work. what do we owe you? dogbert: the audit is free. i only did it to find ways to blackmail you.
Thursday December 24,
2020
Wally Does Three Jobs
Tags #business, #money, #fortune, #employer, #employment, #working from home, #job, #manage, #expectations, #people
Transcript
wally and dilbert on video conference call. wally: i'm making a fortune working from home. three different employers think i work only for them. dilbert: how do you do three jobs at the same time: wally: it comes down to managing other people's expectations.
Thursday December 17,
2020
Motivosity Bucks
Tags #business, #technology, #working, #weekend, #employment, #bucks, #money, #motivosity
Transcript
boss: thanks for working all weekend to get the project done, dilbert. i award you two motivosity bucks. dilbert: i like real money better. boss: that just cost you two motivosity bucks.
Saturday October 17,
2020
Lucky Profits
Tags #bonus, #business, #compensation, #executive, #managers & supervisors, #pandemic, #sarcasm, #technology, #video conferencing, #zoom, #luck
Transcript
catbert to ceo: there's a problem with your executive compensation. the company made so much money during the pandemic, purely by luck, that your bonus would be ten million dollars. ceo: i earned it. catbert: you made zoom calls wearing only socks.
Sunday August 02,
2020
Dilbert Tells The Odds
Tags #business, #decision, #estimate, #managers & supervisors, #miscommunication, #odds, #technology, #wrong
Transcript
dilbert: i estimate odds at a 70% chance things go well, and a 30% chance we lose money on the deal. boss: if we lose money, will you admit you were wrong? dilbert: how could i be wrong? i'm just telling you the odds. boss: if we lose money, that's on you for recommending it. dilbert: um...no. i'm telling you the odds and letting you decide. boss: but you're the one saying this is such a great deal. dilbert upsetting and yelling forcing face mask off his face: i'm only telling you the odds, you pea-brained ignoramus!!! boss: so, you won't admit you were wrong? dilbert's face mask is over his eyes.
Thursday June 04,
2020
Factories No Buyers
Tags #big business, #money, #sarcasm, #customers, #poison
Transcript
Dilbert: Our factories are back online, but we have no buyers. It turns out that our customer base overlaps with the people who recently poisoned themselves with household disinfectants. Boss: Who could have seen that coming? Dilbert: I won a bet on it.
Sunday May 31,
2020
One Source Of Stress
Tags #business, #work at home, #human, #contact, #stress, #co-workers, #bored, #print, #money
Transcript
dilbert thinking: i've had no human contact for months. i wasn't expecting to enjoy it so much. my love life was already a barren wasteland. and avoiding my co-workers is always good. i haven't been stressed, tired, or bored in weeks. i only have one remaining source of stress in my life. dilbert sitting on couch with dogbert dogbert: i'm printing money in the basement. dilbert: there it is.