Prepare Proposal Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

46 Results for Prepare Proposal

View 1 - 10 results for prepare proposal comic strips. Discover the best "Prepare Proposal" comics from Dilbert.com.

Reading Faces

Thank you for voting.
Reading Faces - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #meeting, #corrupt, #communists, #technology, #proposal, #reading faces

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker: i can't support this project because you're all a bunch of corrupt, godless communists. dilbert: just out of curiosity, where did you get your education? co-worker: i learned everything i need to know on social media. dilbert: how does that help you evaluate a technical proposal? co-worker: it's simple. i take one look at all of your faces, and i know everything i need to know. co-worker looking at wally: i mean, look at this guy's face. he's obviously a grifter. wally: lucky guess. co-worker looking at alice: this one obviously has anger issues. dilbert: i demand a larger sample size! co-worker: whatever geek face.

Pre Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Pre Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2019's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #meeting, #pre-meeting, #canceled, #sarcasm, #business, #reality

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we canceled the meeting because we couldn't find a time for the pre-meeting to prepare for the meeting. dilbert: doesn't the pre-meeting need it's own pre-meeting? boss: good point. dilbert: sarcasm and reality have become one.

Goofy Words

Thank you for voting.
Goofy Words - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #proposal, #understand, #clarification, #end, #misunderstand

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: and that's my blockchain proposal. any questions? boss: there was a part i didn't understand. dilbert: which part? boss: the words dilbert: all of them? boss: only the goofy ones. such as token, smart contract, certainty as a service, utxo blockchains, node, ledger, and daps. dilbert: so... you didn't understand anything i said for the past hour? boss: don't try to turn this into my fault dilbert: you could have asked me to clarify boss: i also wanted it to end.

Need To Retrain

Thank you for voting.
Need To Retrain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #technology, #business, #office, #retrain, #proposal, #employees, #risk, #cost, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: your idea is dumb because we'd have to retrain people dilbert: are you waiting for a plan with no costs, no work, and no risk? boss: yes, why are you holding that one back?

Solves Too Few Problems

Thank you for voting.
Solves Too Few Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #proposal, #problems, #quitter

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: your proposed solution is dumb because it doesn't solve all of our problems. dilbert: there's no such thing as a solution that solves all our problems. maybe we should solve the ones we can solve? boss: you're coming off as a quitter

Parody Or Real

Thank you for voting.
Parody Or Real - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 2019's comic on:


Tags #joke, #sarcasm, #technology, #boss, #business, #department, #proposal, #reality, #parody, #inversion

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: ever since the parody inversion, no one can tell the difference between jokes and reality boss: i need you to get buy-in on this proposal from all thirteen department heads by tomorrow wally: was that real or parody? dilbert: i think they're the same now

Smart To Wait

Thank you for voting.
Smart To Wait - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #technology, #proposal

View Transcript

Transcript

i approved your technology proposal. dilbert: i made that proposal six months ago. now everything has changed and it no longer makes sense. the boss: well, i guess i was smart to wait. dilbert: the less you do, the better.

Dogbert Talks Past The Sale

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert Talks Past The Sale - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2016's comic on:


Tags #manipulation, #negotiating, #negotiation, #psychology, #guest artist, #josh shipley

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Do you want to prepare and serve my favorite food to me now or in one minute? Dilbert: Why do you always that manipulative trick of making me think past the sale? Dogbert: Because it works? Dilbert: One minute! Not a second sooner!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2014's comic on:


Tags #contracts, #lawyers, #porposal, #incomprehensible document, #complexity

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Your proposal with the three bullet points looks good to me. I'll ask my lawyers to turn it into an incomprehensible nine-page document that introduces complexity risks for... no... reason. Can I get back to you in the year 2018? Man: Stop making me cry!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2013's comic on:


Tags #natural disasters, #disaster preparedness, #famine, #keyboard, #crumbs, #alene invasion, #kill a coworker, #lizard people, #impending collison, #asteroid, #running in place, #earth rotates, #planet, #hit by asteroid, #human flesh, #presentation is a disater

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I've been asked to explain our disaster preparedness plan. In the event of a famine, turn your keyboard upside down and shake. If it's anything like mine, you'll find a pound and a half of crumbs. In the event of an alien invasion, your best bet is to kill a co-worker to show your allegiance to the lizard-people. In the event of an impending collision with an asteroid, try running in place while the Earth rotates. If you time it right, you'll be on the other side of the planet when the asteroid hits. To prepare for every other type of disaster, I recommend cultivating a taste for human flesh. Boss: Your presentation is a disaster. Wally: And next time you'll be prepared for it.