Preventer Of Info Comic Strips

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41 Results for Preventer Of Info

View 1 - 10 results for preventer of info comic strips. Discover the best "Preventer Of Info" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2016's comic on:


Tags #technology, #coding, #code, #control, #efficiency, #purpose, #job, #red tape, #business

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Mordac: Step away from that open source code! Dilbert: Why? Mordac: Because I am Mordac, The Preventer of All Efficient Solutions in the Information Technology Realm. Dilbert: That isn't an actual job. Mordac: I was hoping it was. I lost the file with my job description. That was five years ago. I've been winging it since then. My parents taught me that I could be anything I wanted to be. And I wanted to be this. So don't use that code! Dilbert: Not even when you turn around?

Wally Is Ceo's Pet

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Wally Is Ceo's Pet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2015's comic on:


Tags #bad influence, #mentoring, #mentor, #protege, #laziness, #work ethic, #changes

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Alice: How's it feel to be the CEO's pet employee? Wally: We call it mentoring. Alice: Has it changed you? Wally: No, but he seems more useless lately. Alice: I guess there's no backflow preventer on mentoring.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2013's comic on:


Tags #hypocrisy, #respect, #succeed, #treat each other well, #video recording, #google glasses, #recording confidential info, #fired, #insulting, #final check, #name calling, #ironic

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CEO: We only succeed when we treat each other with respect. Are you video-recording me with those Google glasses? Dilbert: Huh? CEO: You're fired for recording a confidential meeting! Pack your bags, you worthless piece of garbage! I got your final check right here! Dilbert: These are my regular glasses. Having cleared that up, you were saying something about respect? CEO: Settle down, four-eyes. This isn't over.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2013's comic on:


Tags #civil liberties, #law enforcement officers, #surveillance, #stole sensitive info, #spy software, #stealing back

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NSA Agent: You hacked into a government database and stole sensitive information. Dilbert: Technically, it was my company's information that your spy software stole first. I was just stealing it back. So we're good here, right? NSA Agent: Yeah, that's how it works.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 2013's comic on:


Tags #computer programmers, #international economic integration, #unemployed, #immortal, #preventer of information, #services, #outsiurced, #buzzkill

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Mordac: I am Mordac, the preventer of information services, and I am immortal! Dilbert: Actually, in a few years your function will be either distributed across existing organizations or outsourced. Mordac: Well, that was a total buzzkill.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 2013's comic on:


Tags #color printer, #frobid, #frustration, #information services, #office equipment, #office workers, #removed, #rough drafts, #crazy co worker

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Mordac: I am Mordac, the preventer of information services, and I forbid you from using the shared color printer for rough drafts! Dilbert: That sounds reasonable, which makes me wonder what you're up to. Two Months Later Why did you remove the color printer? Mordac: It was hardly ever used.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2012's comic on:


Tags #anger, #apathy, #computer programmers, #preventer of information, #business case, #teamwork seminar, #goldfish crackers

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Mordac: I, Mordac, the preventer of information services, reject your business case because you used the old template. Ha ha ha! I feed on your anger and frustration! And now I will eat like a king! Dilbert: Good luck with that. I've been dead on the inside since the teamwork seminar. Mordac: Sheesh. I'm living on goldfish crackers.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2012's comic on:


Tags #gadgets, #office equipment, #swine, #information services, #upgraded network secuirty, #facila recognition, #temporary passwrod, #face, #extensive plastic surgery, #to log on

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Mordac: I am Mordac, the preventer of information services. Dilbert: I know. We've worked together for years. Mordac: And it still sounds awesome when I say it. Anyway, I up-graded our network security to include facial recognition. Your temporary password is this face. You'll need extensive plastic surgery to log on the first time. Dilbert: You've gone too far, Mordac! I will escalate this! Boss: I wish we'd had this conversation a week ago.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #free app, #stealing personal info, #lodge complaint, #monthly subscription, #package, #history of contaxcts, #sells itself

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Customer: Your free app is stealing my personal information. I'd like to lodge a complaint. Dogbert: Buy our monthly subscription package or I'll send your browser history to your contacts. Dilbert: How's your app going? Dogbert: It practically sells itself.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 25, 2012's comic on:


Tags #barry, #meeting, #meetings, #sharing info, #vendors, #business

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Dilbert: Let's hear what Barry learned from our vendors and go from there. Coworker: I didn't have time to call anyone, but I can speculate about what might have happened if I had. Dilbert: I'm curious to see how this will work out for you. Coworker: None of these vendors would have called me back.