Print Emails Comic Strips
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dilbert thinking: i've had no human contact for months. i wasn't expecting to enjoy it so much. my love life was already a barren wasteland. and avoiding my co-workers is always good. i haven't been stressed, tired, or bored in weeks. i only have one remaining source of stress in my life. dilbert sitting on couch with dogbert dogbert: i'm printing money in the basement. dilbert: there it is.
dilbert giving a presentation: i invented a device that can scan your body and brain at molecular level. now you can time travel by killing yourself and leaving instructions to 3d-print you back to life in the future when the technology is able. response: where will you find anyone dumb enough to test it? dilbert: have you ever attended a meeting at this company?
Asok: I keep working hard, but no one notices. Wally: That's why I send out department-wide emails at around midnight every night. Asok: I didn't know you work at home every night. Wally: Do I need to speak slower here?
Dilbert: The electronic suggestion box project is halfway done. The original design called for a bos that scans and digitizes suggestions written on paper and emails them to the appropriate manager. Then the device shreds the original paper suggestion to make room for more. I already built the box and the shredder. I'll need additional funding to finish the scanning part. Boss: We don't have any flexibility in our budget. Let's just deploy what you have. Dilbert: All I have is a box that shreds suggestions before anyone reads them. Boss: Don't let perfect be the enemy of good.
Alice: This week I designed and built a prototype that can turn any kind of garbage into fuel. Boss: And Wally? Wally: I sent out some emails, but no one answered. Before you judge me, keep in mind that you don't know how awesome those emails were.
Boss: Wally's emails make no sense. Dilbert: He replaced himself with a chatbot. He designed the chatbot to be useless so you'd think it was him. Boss: And he thought this would fool me? Dilbert: He's been gone for four months.