Process Meeting Comic Strips

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963 Results for Process Meeting

View 1 - 10 results for process meeting comic strips. Discover the best "Process Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.

Meeting To Decide When To Meet

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Meeting To Decide When To Meet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 2019's comic on:

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The Bad Analogy Guy

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The Bad Analogy Guy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2019's comic on:

Tags #meetings, #office workers, #sarcasm, #war

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Man: This meeting reminds me of the sixth elbonian revolution. Therefore, logically, this meeting will end with bayonets. Asok: What's wrong with you? Man: Can I borrow your pen?

Bad Hair Day

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Bad Hair Day - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 2019's comic on:

Tags #angry, #boss, #employees, #employment, #hair, #hairstyles, #meetings, #threat, #warning

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Boss: Alice, why aren't you at this meeting? Alice: I'm having a bad hair day. Boss: That's no reason to miss a meeting! Alice: You don't understand. It's really, really bad. Boss: Come to the meeting right now, or you're fired! Gurk! Dilbert: That's bad hair. Alice: Can't say I didn't warn him.

Unforseen Risks

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Unforseen Risks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2019's comic on:

Tags #blame, #boss, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #risks

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Boss: How can you be sure there are no unforeseen risks with this plan? Dilbert: It is not possible to know if one has considered every risk. Therefore, we can never be sure. Boss: So...I can still blame you for any problems that pop up? Dilbert: Yes, that part of the process is still intact.

Leaders Have Differen Memories

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Leaders Have Differen Memories - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #meeting, #office, #stupid, #leadership

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the boss: we had a leadership meeting to decide how to move forward. the boss: but all the leaders left the meeting with wildly different ideas about what we agreed on. carol: how do you leaders plan to solve that? the boss: phase one involves accusing each other of being stupid.

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Drooling Incompetents

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Drooling Incompetents - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #competent, #incompetent

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wally at team meeting. wally: i've been asked to lead this project toward failure so my boss can convince our ceo to cancel it. wally: i'd like all of the competent people on the team to step aside, while the drooling incompetents who remain drive it into a ditch. office worker: how can we know who among us are the competent ones? wally: well, for starters, they don't ask that question.

Encouraging Smoking

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Encouraging Smoking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #meeting, #office, #office workers, #smoking, #turnover, #breaks

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dibert, the boss and ask at conference table. the boss: our plan for reducing turnover is to encourage smoking. the boss: that way, everyone gets a relaxing smoke break several times per day. dilbert: or non-smokers could take breaks. the boss: now i wish you had been in the meeting when we planned this.

Lawyers Take Years

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Lawyers Take Years - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #lawyers, #office, #agreement, #years

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team meeting in conference room. dilbert: we can close the deal as soon as our lawyers tweak a few minor sentences in the agreement. the boss: how long will that take? dilbert: probably several years. the boss: what if i help them? dilbert: add 3 years.

Wally And His Priorities

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Wally And His Priorities - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #meetings, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm

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the boss: wally, can you attend a meeting at 10 am tomorrow? wally: sure. here's a list of my projects so you can tell me which one you want to fail while i'm wasting my time at your meeting. the boss: was there a chance one of them would succeed? wally: well played

Elbonian Cyber Threat Meeting

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Elbonian Cyber Threat Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #meeting, #office, #office workers, #elbonian, #cyber threat

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the boss: what are we doing about the elbonian cyber threat? dilbert: i called a meeting for tomorrow to come up with a plan for dealing with it. the boss: your weak response proves you are an elbonian spy. dilbert: what? to be continued...