Project Kick Off Comic Strips

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1000 Results for Project Kick Off

View 1 - 10 results for project kick off comic strips. Discover the best "Project Kick Off" comics from Dilbert.com.

Lowering The Project Iq

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Walk It Off

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Dilbert Fell Off Roof

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New Software

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New Software - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, approval, software, necessary, purchase order, questions, blockchain, stop

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dilbert: i'd like approval to buy some software, and there is no hope you would understand why it is necessary. so just sign off on the purchase and don't ask any questions. boss: is it blockchain? dilbert: just stop.

Video Lunch Meeting Rules

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Video Lunch Meeting Rules - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, meeting, zoom lunch meeting, zoom, lunch, beaver, dam, bubblewrap, ugly, eater, video, off, on, sarcasm, microphone

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alice: welcome to our first zoom lunch meeting. if you chew louder than a beaver making a dam out of bubble wrap, please turn off your microphone. and if you are an ugly eater... voice from laptop: we get it. turn the video off.

Wally Helps The New Guy

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Wally Helps The New Guy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, training, new, employment

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dilbert: wally, explain to the new guy what he needs to know about the project. wally: our pdr system is downstairs from the qrd data and the bmr, so don't order a gref or else the plr will get boodled. panel shows office building with man jumping out of window, voice: i quit

Million Dollar Bonuses

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Million Dollar Bonuses - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, deadline, project, million-dollar, recommendation, lying, clock, weeks, spirit, bonus, mad, finished, no, laptop, coffee

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boss: if you finish by the deadline, i'll recommend you for a million dollar bonus. dilbert: you're lying. boss: i'm serious. dilbert: but you're also lying. boss: only one way to find out. dilbert: i'd need to work around the clock for weeks to meet the deadline. boss: that's the spirit! dilbert: if you're lying about the bonus, i'm going to be boiling mad. five weeks later. dilbert: it nearly killed me, but i finished by the deadline. where's my million dollar bonus. boss: i told you i'd recommend it. they said no.

Ceo Wants To Get Involved In Politics

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Ceo Wants To Get Involved In Politics  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, political issues, Politics, stock market, technology, company, controversial, predict, impact, drop, earnings, stock, sell, involvement

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ceo: i've decided our company needs to get more involved in controversial politics. dilbert: wouldn't the predictable impact of that be a huge drop in our earnings? ceo: no, no. people will love us for getting involved. dilbert: can you at least hold off until i sell all of my stock.

Boss Isn't Fair

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Boss Isn't Fair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, video call, project, fair, repeating, bump, head

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dilbert and ceo on video call. dilbert: it isn't fair that alice gets all the best projects. boss: and what's your point? dilbert: it's not fair. boss: you already said that. dilbert: you should do something to make it more fair. boss: why? dilbert: because it's not fair? boss: did you bump your head?

Project On Hold

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Project On Hold - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, project, hold, opposite, Opinion, change, football, analogy, goalpost, fact, laptop, video call

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dilbert on video call. dilbert: and that's why we should put the project on hold for now. voice from laptop: hahahaha! that's exactly the opposite of what you said last week. dilbert: i sometimes change my opinions when the facts change. how do you play it? voice from laptop: now you're moving the goalposts.