Proposal Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

24 Results for Proposal

View 1 - 10 results for proposal comic strips. Discover the best "Proposal" comics from Dilbert.com.

Package Design

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Package Design  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #vp of sales, #technology, #sales, #selling, #design, #proposal, #package, #jump, #roof, #crazy, #sarcasm, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i got feedback on the proposed package design. our vp of sales says if we go with this design, he will "jump off the roof." alice: is he crazy or just good at selling? dilbert: no way to tell.

Reading Faces

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Reading Faces - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #meeting, #corrupt, #communists, #technology, #proposal, #reading faces

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker: i can't support this project because you're all a bunch of corrupt, godless communists. dilbert: just out of curiosity, where did you get your education? co-worker: i learned everything i need to know on social media. dilbert: how does that help you evaluate a technical proposal? co-worker: it's simple. i take one look at all of your faces, and i know everything i need to know. co-worker looking at wally: i mean, look at this guy's face. he's obviously a grifter. wally: lucky guess. co-worker looking at alice: this one obviously has anger issues. dilbert: i demand a larger sample size! co-worker: whatever geek face.

Goofy Words

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Goofy Words - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #proposal, #understand, #clarification, #end, #misunderstand

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: and that's my blockchain proposal. any questions? boss: there was a part i didn't understand. dilbert: which part? boss: the words dilbert: all of them? boss: only the goofy ones. such as token, smart contract, certainty as a service, utxo blockchains, node, ledger, and daps. dilbert: so... you didn't understand anything i said for the past hour? boss: don't try to turn this into my fault dilbert: you could have asked me to clarify boss: i also wanted it to end.

Need To Retrain

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Need To Retrain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #business, #office, #retrain, #proposal, #employees, #risk, #cost, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: your idea is dumb because we'd have to retrain people dilbert: are you waiting for a plan with no costs, no work, and no risk? boss: yes, why are you holding that one back?

Solves Too Few Problems

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Solves Too Few Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #proposal, #problems, #quitter

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: your proposed solution is dumb because it doesn't solve all of our problems. dilbert: there's no such thing as a solution that solves all our problems. maybe we should solve the ones we can solve? boss: you're coming off as a quitter

Parody Or Real

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Parody Or Real - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #joke, #sarcasm, #technology, #boss, #business, #department, #proposal, #reality, #parody, #inversion

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: ever since the parody inversion, no one can tell the difference between jokes and reality boss: i need you to get buy-in on this proposal from all thirteen department heads by tomorrow wally: was that real or parody? dilbert: i think they're the same now

Smart To Wait

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Smart To Wait - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #technology, #proposal

View Transcript

Transcript

i approved your technology proposal. dilbert: i made that proposal six months ago. now everything has changed and it no longer makes sense. the boss: well, i guess i was smart to wait. dilbert: the less you do, the better.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #contracts, #lawyers, #porposal, #incomprehensible document, #complexity

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Your proposal with the three bullet points looks good to me. I'll ask my lawyers to turn it into an incomprehensible nine-page document that introduces complexity risks for... no... reason. Can I get back to you in the year 2018? Man: Stop making me cry!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #time estimate, #propsal, #win bid, #wet sponge, #insulted me, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I adjusted your time estimate on the proposal from two years to one so we could win the bid. I plan to make up the time by squeezing you like a wet sponge that insulted me. Then the wet sponge insulted me.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #proposals, #technical, #swivel chair, #front, #intelligence test, #smart, #joke, #monkey, #time, #animals, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I don't understand either of your technical proposals, and I need to pick one." The Boss says, "Normally I'd use favoritism, but I don't like either one of you." The Boss says, "So I'll give you an intelligence test, and I'll approve the proposal of whoever is the smartest." The Boss says, "If you shoot an arrow at a monkey from an airplane..." The Boss says, "And the monkey throws a coconut at the incoming arrow to stop it, but he misses..." The Boss says, "How can you tell what time it is?" Dilbert says, "There's not enough data." Coworker says, "You look at your watch?" The Boss says, "The correct answer is 'Ask the monkey and hope he doesn't hold a grudge."