Proud Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

43 Results for Proud

View 1 - 10 results for proud comic strips. Discover the best "Proud" comics from Dilbert.com.

Workplace Injuries

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Workplace Injuries - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, meeting, video call, workplace, injury, reduce, work from home, security, guard, hurt, back, steal, office equipment

View Transcript

Transcript

boss on video call. boss: i'm proud to announce we reduced workplace injuries by 76% this past year. voice from laptop: we all worked from home this year. shouldn't we have seen a 100% reduction? boss: our security guard kept hurting his back stealing office equipment.

Employer Of The Year

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Employer Of The Year - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags advertising, managers & supervisors, employer, year, million dollars, attitude, business

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'm proud to announce that we've been named "employer of the year." dilbert: how much did that cost? boss: nothing! all we had to do was buy a million dollars' worth of ads. dilbert: did we need those ads? boss: you won't win any awards with that attitude.

What If You Are In A Coma

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
What If You Are In A Coma - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, cell phone, client, stupid, liar, insult, understand, die, coma

View Transcript

Transcript

phone conversation dilbert: if you have any problems with the software, just give me a call. client: what if you die or you're in a coma? dilbert: well, in those cases i would not return your call. client: so you're lying about getting back to me. dilbert: no, i'm making a normal kind of generalization, which i assumed you would understand. client: okay, so now you're calling me stupid, and you're a liar? dilbert: if a liar calls you stupid, wouldn't that mean you are smart? client: fair point dilbert: thanks, i'm proud of it.

Award For Cutting Costs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Award For Cutting Costs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceo, award, cutting, costs, department, underfunded, losers, awards, help

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I am proud to give you this award for cutting costs more than any other department. Dilbert: All of our projects failed because they are underfunded. CEO: How do you put up with these losers? The Boss: The awards help.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags team, teamwork, team building, death, cover-up, denial, human resources, drowning, rafting, business, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: As you know, our team-building event did not go smoothly. In my defense, I had no way of knowing a class 6 whitewater adventure would be so bumpy. It took me by surprise when Ted fell in. But I'm proud that we came together as a team and agreed to not look for him. It would have ruined our timing for lunch. Anyway, I'm sure Ted swam to safety. Dilbert: Ted doesn't know how to swim. Boss: All in favor of pretending Ted didn't attend the event? Catbert: They didn't have life vests? Boss: You're thinking of the deluxe package.

Gawful Media Company

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Gawful Media Company - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags merger, acquisition, gawker, morals, executives, decision, information

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The board is proud to announce that we will be acquiring the Gawful Media Company. Dilbert: Are you aware that Gawful is so despicable that a crime bill has their name on it? CEO: Hey, don't blame me. I told the board that someone should Google them.

Ceo Is On Nine Boards

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Is On Nine Boards - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags board, board member, power, bragging, focus, attention

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I am proud to say I serve as a board member for nine corporations. Dilbert; Your lack of focus shows disregard for your fiduciary responsibilities. CEO: Can someone fire this guy for me? I don't remember what company I'm at.

Incompetent Employee Budget Only

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Incompetent Employee Budget Only - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags budget, catch-22, incompetence, funds, lose funds, 75% competent, cubicle

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I only have enough in the budget to hire an employee who is incompetent half of the time. But if I don't use the budget, I will lose those funds next year. Employee: And I am proud to say that I'm 75% competent. Boss: I wish I could afford that.

Bob Is Proud Of His Flip Phone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bob Is Proud Of His Flip Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dinosaurs, insult, insults, judgement, smart phones, technology, flip phone, judegment, follow ups

View Transcript

Transcript

Dinosaur: I don't own a smartphone. I use a flip phone because it does everything I want. Alice: Why are you proud of being a big, dumb dinosaur with a terrible phone? Dinosaur: I"m sensing a lot of judgement in that question. Alice: Wait until you hear my follow-ups.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, executives, beat earnings, analysts expected, make mistakes, bad estinates, mislead

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: You should be proud that we beat the earnings that analysts expected. Dilbert: Why should we be proud that analysts are bad at making estimates? CEO: Those bad estimated don't happen on their own. I had to mislead them. Asok: I'm proud of you.