Quit Comic Strips
117 Results for Quit
View 1 - 10 results for quit comic strips. Discover the best "Quit" comics from Dilbert.com.
boss on video call. boss: how many of you would prefer going back to work in the office instead of working at home? voices from laptop: i'd rather be dead. i quit. shoot me. boss walking in living room thinking: i knew it was a mistake to let them taste happiness.
ceo: the press is all over me because seventy-three subordinates accused me of inappropriate behavior. there's only one thing i can do. boss: quit. ceo thinking: now i know who to murder to divert the press. boss: am i right?
dilbert looking at laptop on video conference voice from laptop: let me share my screen and i'll...uh-oh. oops. not that screen. don't judge me! how do i make it go away?!!! gaaa!!! i can't take the embarrassment! i quit! Dogbert and dilbert in another room dogbert: how was your zoom call? dilbert: best one ever.
dilbert in doctor's office. dilbert: i think i have social media poisoning. it makes me feel defensive and angry all the time, but i can't quit. doctor: you've gained five pounds. dilbert yelling: you fat-shaming quack!
Dogbert: If you compliment your employees, they will get big heads and think they are underpaid. But if you criticize them, they will be unhappy and quit. Boss: What should I do instead of those things? Dogbert: Have you tried hiding?
Boss: I've decided to be more like Steve Jobs. I want all of you to work day and night or else I will humiliate you in front of your peers. Dilbert: I quit. Alice: I quit. Boss: Would it work better if I wore a black shirt?
the boss: i'm not having much luck with my inspirational quotes, but i thought i would try one more time. the boss: "winners never quit, and quitters never win." dilbert: when ted quit, you gave him a raise to stay. the boss: these work better when you don't think about them.
ceo: ned won 't return any of my messages. ceo: fire him the boss: i can't do that. the boss holding hands out: ned is indispensable. ceo: what makes him indispensable? the boss: he's the only one who knows how to fix bugs in our system. ceo: what system? the boss: i don't know. ceo: then how do you know he's indispensable? the boss: ned told me. ceo: fire him anyway. dilbert: ned quit two years ago.
Dilbert: I can't in good conscience support inaccurate health claims about our products. I quit. Boss: I'll give you 20% raise if you stay. Wally: I quit too, because of all the ethnics and stuffs. Dilbert: Don't ruin this for me.