Quotes Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

21 Results for Quotes

View 1 - 10 results for quotes comic strips. Discover the best "Quotes" comics from Dilbert.com.

Quotes Out Of Context

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Quotes Out Of Context  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, business, context, dumb, employment, face mask, malice, managers & supervisors, out of context, project, quote, writing

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker: i don't like what you wrote about my project, so i took one of your quotes out of context, to make you look dumb, and sent it to your boss. dilbert: that won't work, because once i explain the proper context, he will see there is nothing to it. later that day. dilbert: ...so, as you can see, that quote was out of context. boss yelling: liar!!!

Purchasing Department

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Purchasing Department - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, purchasing, vendor, market, quote, coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

Purchasing Manager Bob: you need there vendor quotes, or i can't approve it. dilbert: there are only two vendors in that market. bob: come back when something changes.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, rules, quotes, chaos, purchasing

View Transcript

Transcript

purchasing manager: i can't approve this purchase without three vendor quotes. dilbert: only two companies in the world make this sort of product. purchasing manager: if i bend the rules for you, everyone will want me to bend the rules. dilbert: maybe you could only bend the rules when it makes complete sense to do so. purchasing manager: that would be chaos. Purchasing manager: everyone thinks they have a good reason to bend the rules. dilbert: is the real problem here that you were bullied in school, and you use this job for some sort of sick revenge. purchasing manager: now you need four vendor quotes.

Winners Never Quit

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Winners Never Quit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, sarcasm, inspirational quotes

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i'm not having much luck with my inspirational quotes, but i thought i would try one more time. the boss: "winners never quit, and quitters never win." dilbert: when ted quit, you gave him a raise to stay. the boss: these work better when you don't think about them.

If You Can Dream

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
If You Can Dream - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, Dilbert, sleeping, inspirational quotes, Wally

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: i'll be sharing one inspirational quote each day. next frame shows outside of office: "if you can dream it, you can achieve it." Wally: zzz-zzzz. dilbert: he's off to a good start.

Never Stop Dreaming

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Never Stop Dreaming - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sleeping, inspirational quotes, Dilbert, boss

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i printed out some inspirational slogans to motivate you. the boss: the first one is "never stop dreaming." wally: zzzz-zzzz.

Tina Interviews Wally For Article

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Interviews Wally For Article - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, economist, fraud, interview, jargon, lying, website, total fraud, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally The Economist. Tina: I have to interview you for our website. And since you are a total fraud as an economist, why don't we skip the interview and I'll invent some quotes from you? Wally: That sound economical. Tina: Don't even try.

No More Than Eight People In A Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No More Than Eight People In A Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags autobiography, executives, ghost writers, quote, quotes, co author, meetings, rules

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Your rule is that no more than eight people should attend a meeting, so I can't let you sit down. CEO: When did I say that? Dilbert: It was in a book you co-wrote. CEO: I knew I should have skimmed that thing. Dilbert: Your unknown co-author is quite wise.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags eat lunch, front, rich, book deal, pirate, illegal, buy

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "Soon my book of pointy-haired boss quotes will be published and I will be rich." Wally says, "It sounds great. I can't wait to get my pirated copy." Asok says, "Or you could buy it." Dilbert says, "I thought you said it was a book."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags book deal, ghost writer, dog, publishing, first draft, quotes, knife, dying, dead, wave hand, animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert Publishing Dogbert says, "I'm assigning a ghost writer to tighten up your first draft." Dogbert says, "Technically, he's not a ghost yet. He's just a guy who lost a knife fight." Asok says, "How long do I have to wait?" Dogbert says, "If you're in a hurry, steer him toward the window."