Real Reason Comic Strips

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318 Results for Real Reason

View 1 - 10 results for real reason comic strips. Discover the best "Real Reason" comics from Dilbert.com.

Cooties Diagnosis

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Cooties Diagnosis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2020's comic on:


Tags #confirmed, #cooties, #diagnosis, #doctor, #medicine, #Opinion, #professional, #skepticism, #symptom, #test

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doctor: in my professional opinion, you have a bad case of the cooties. we don't have any tests for cooties, but the main symptom is skepticism, and you have that. dilbert: cooties are not real. doctor: diagnosis confirmed.

Cooties In Elbonia

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Cooties In Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2020's comic on:


Tags #cooties, #deny, #elbonia, #managers & supervisors, #outbreak, #science, #symptom, #technology, #news

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boss: the news says there's a major outbreak of cooties in elbonia. dilbert: i don't think cooties is a real thing. boss: experts say one of the symptoms of cooties is "denying science."

Real Data

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Real Data  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2020's comic on:


Tags #decision, #office workers, #sarcasm, #dumb, #facts

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Man: We need to make decisions based on real data! Dilbert: Who do you imagine disagrees with that obvious statement? Man: Uh-oh. I just realized I'm dumb and never knew it. Dilbert: I hear it can sneak up on you.

Selling Private Data

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Selling Private Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #job, #management, #cloud, #data, #people, #private, #information, #laugh, #market, #sell, #email, #friend

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dogbert: the only reason i took a job managing cloud data is so i could laugh at people's private information. dogbert: then i discovered a robust market for selling that kind of stuff, so it's a twofer. dilbert: we need to talk. dogbert: sure. just email your thoughts to a friend, and i'll probably read them.

Ted Can't Make It

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Ted Can't Make It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #co-workers, #meeting, #project, #absence, #technology

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dilbert: ted says he can't make it to the meeting. wally: the only reason for this meeting is so ted can tell us what he's doing on his project. dilbert: we should reschedule. boss: not so fast. i think we can salvage this. if we guess what ted might have told us, that gets us halfway there. dilbert: i don't think it does. boss: we can't know until we try. dilbert: why don't the rest of us leave, and you can stay here and guess what we would have said, too. boss thinking alone at table: ...and then dilbert would have said...

Your Real Scheme

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Your Real Scheme - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 2019's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #office, #business, #scheme, #power, #costs, #mind, #reader, #psychology

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dilbert: and this method will reduce costs by thirty percent. ted: nice try, but i know your real scheme is to grab power. dilbert: you're not a good mind reader ted: and yet i knew you would say i can't read minds, explain that

Parody Or Real

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Parody Or Real - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 2019's comic on:


Tags #joke, #sarcasm, #technology, #boss, #business, #department, #proposal, #reality, #parody, #inversion

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dilbert: ever since the parody inversion, no one can tell the difference between jokes and reality boss: i need you to get buy-in on this proposal from all thirteen department heads by tomorrow wally: was that real or parody? dilbert: i think they're the same now

Tina Vents

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Tina Vents - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2019's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #employees, #office workers, #avoidance, #negativity

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Tina: I've had a bad week. Do you mind if I vent? Dilbert: I see no reason why I should be exposed to your toxic negativity. Tina: I'm going to do it anyway. Dilbert: Headphones.

Centralizing The Decentralized

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Centralizing The Decentralized - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm, #value

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Boss: I need to randomly change something so it seems as if being a manager is a real job. Maybe I should centralize all the functions I decentralized last year. Catbert: Or you could find a way to add value. Boss: I'm not magic.

Circular Debating

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Circular Debating - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 2019's comic on:


Tags #argument, #debates, #frustration, #moon, #conspiracy

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Wally: Thanks to my new circular debating technique. I haven't lost a debate in weeks. Watch this. The moon landing was a hoax. Man: No, it wasn't. Wally: The flag was moving in the wind. Man: I'll send you a link debunking the flag thing. Wally: Okay, but how do you explain the multiple light sources? Man: Here's another link debunking that claim. Fifteen minutes later Man: I have now debunked all ten of your ridiculous claims will you agree the moon landing was real? Wally: How do you explain the flag moving? Man: Gaaaa!!! I give up!! You win!!!