Really Time Preson Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for really time preson comic strips. Discover the best "Really Time Preson" comics from Dilbert.com.

Finding Qualified Engineers

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Finding Qualified Engineers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #interview, #questions, #job market, #engineers, #baker, #mortuary, #assistant

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interview boss: it's hard to find qualified engineers in this job market, so i'm casting a wider net. it says here you have experience as a mortuary assistant and baker. that's not exactly like being an engineer, but i want to stay open-minded. tell me about a time you had to deal with failure and what you did about it. interviewee: well, one time i totally botched an embalming. so i used a chainsaw to reduce the corpse to flushable parts. i told the family he came back to life and ran away. boss: okay. and why did you become a baker? interviewee: so i cold eat my mistakes.

Slide Deck Too Well Designed

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Slide Deck Too Well Designed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #tasks, #well-designed

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boss: your slide deck is too well-designed. it suggests you spend too much time on things that are not important. asok: you don't give me important tasks. boss: that's no excuse for good design.

What Good Is Money

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What Good Is Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #sarcasm, #income, #soul, #money, #earn, #rent, #own

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dilbert on couch at home: what good is earning money if it costs me my soul? dogbert: well, for one thing, it's the only way you can pay your rent. dilbert: rent? i own this house. dogbert: you really should read the things i ask you to docusign.

Bring Me Solutions

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Bring Me Solutions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #solutions, #problems, #worthless, #sarcasm, #example

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boss: i want you to bring me solutions, not problems! dilbert: that's a funny way to call yourself worthless. boss: i do plenty around here! boss: but in the interest of time, i will not list any examples.

Can You Explain

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Can You Explain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 2019's comic on:


Tags #technology, #product, #experience, #content, #salesman

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dilbert: can you explain what your product does? salesman: our product was created by an experienced team of technologists to address the way content is surfaced. dilbert: next time just say, "no."

Pre Meeting

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Pre Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2019's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #meeting, #pre-meeting, #canceled, #sarcasm, #business, #reality

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boss: we canceled the meeting because we couldn't find a time for the pre-meeting to prepare for the meeting. dilbert: doesn't the pre-meeting need it's own pre-meeting? boss: good point. dilbert: sarcasm and reality have become one.

User Complaints

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User Complaints - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2019's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #support, #business, #staff, #overwhelmed, #bonus, #product, #launch, #department, #problem, #cause, #fair

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dilbert: our tech support staff is overwhelmed because we shipped the wrong user guide with our product. boss: my bonus only depends on launching the product on time. tech support isn't my department. dilbert: you caused the problem. boss: who told you it was a fair world.

Software Already Done

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Software Already Done - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 2019's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #prototype, #resources, #software, #program, #miscommunication, #frustration

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dilbert: what do you think? boss: this will never work. dilbert: this isn't a prototype. this is the finished software, and it's working. boss: i don't see how you can get this done in time. dilbert: it's already done. you are literally using it while we are talking. boss: we don't have the resources to program this. dilbert yelling: it's already done! you. are. using. it. right. now! boss: you'd better settle down, or you'll never get this finished.

Morning Meetings

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Morning Meetings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #morning, #effectiveness, #afternoon, #complain

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dilbert: my creativity energy is highest in the morning, but you always schedule our meetings then. your ill-timed meetings reduce my effectiveness by eighty percent. boss: what do you do in the afternoons? robert: i use that time to complain about my morning meetings.

Conference Call

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Conference Call - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 2019's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #business, #conference call, #meeting, #useful, #don't care

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wally: how did your conference call go? dilbert: normal. it took us twenty minutes to get everyone connected, followed by forty minutes of garbled speech that no one understood. the meeting ended when everyone got tired of pretending something useful was happening. wally: i didn't really care.