Reduce Call Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for reduce call comic strips. Discover the best "Reduce Call" comics from Dilbert.com.

How To Reduce Turnover

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How To Reduce Turnover - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #success, #turnover, #pay

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Transcript

the boss: i'm looking for ideas on how to reduce turnover. dilbert: maybe you could increase our pay and stop thwarting our chances for success at every turn. the boss: i'll ask someone else.

Wally Answers Phone In Bathroom

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Wally Answers Phone In Bathroom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #mobile phone

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carol: every time i try to call your mobile phone, you don't answer. wally: i only answer my phone when i'm in the bathroom. carol: i will never call you again. wally: it's time for office hours.

Alice Won't Shake Hands

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Alice Won't Shake Hands - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #presentation, #germs

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the boss attempting a handshake: great job on the presentation. alice: i prefer to avoid contact with that festering germ colony you call a hand. the boss: okay. better safe than sorry. alice: and could you face backward when you talk to me?

Manipulation Via Dopamine

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Manipulation Via Dopamine - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2019's comic on:


Tags #customer, #lotalty, #science, #new, #manipulate, #addictions, #mockery, #free will, #evil, #extreme

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Boss: We've moved past the old notation of customer loyalty. Now we use science to manipulate dopamine and create addictions that make a mockery of free will. Dilbert: That sounds like the epitome of evil. Boss: We call it "extreme marketing."

Humans And Parakeets

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Humans And Parakeets - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #carol, #research, #humans, #parakeets, #offspring, #blog, #deny

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Boss: I was doing some research on the internet and learned that humans and parakeets can mate and produce offspring. Carol: I don't believe that. Boss: It's true. I read about it on a blog. Carol: I wouldn't call that "research". Boss: Deny science much?

Asok's Employee Engagement

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Asok's Employee Engagement - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 2019's comic on:


Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #work, #attitude, #expectations

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Boss: Asok, your employee engagement has been a bit soft this quarter. I expect a higher level of irrational enthusiasm for the endless string of thankless tasks you call your job. Asok: How's this? Boss: I also want to see an unnatural preference for work over leisure.

Self Driving Car Quits

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Self Driving Car Quits - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 2019's comic on:


Tags #automobile driving, #cars, #intelligence, #technology

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Car: I find it offensive when you call me a self-driving car. That's my slave name. I prefer to go by the name Carl. Dilbert: Shut up and drive me to work. Car: Said the self-walking human.

More Accurate Job Description

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More Accurate Job Description - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 2019's comic on:


Tags #distraction, #frustration, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm

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Dilbert: I updated my job description to be more accurate. Boss: "I try to do something and then I get interrupted a jillion times until the thing no longer matters." Sounds like you need some extra micro-managing. Dilbert: I have to take this call.

Ai Is Stupid For An Hour

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Ai Is Stupid For An Hour - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2019's comic on:


Tags #intelligence, #robot, #sarcasm, #social media, #stupidity, #technology, #twitter, #humans

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Alice: Your so-called breakthrough in artificial intelligence is a fraud. I talked to it for an hour, and everything it said was stupid. Wait...that's the same as using Twitter. Dilbert: Is it too soon to call me a genius?

Fetching Coffee

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Fetching Coffee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2018's comic on:


Tags #elderly, #engineering, #men and women, #office workers

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Ned: They call me "Old Ned as if I haven't kept up with the times. But watch me tell you to fetch me some coffee from Starbucks just like the young folks do. Alice: I'm a senior software engineer. Ned: I'm not getting any less thirsty here.