Regular Does Comic Strips

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552 Results for Regular Does

View 1 - 10 results for regular does comic strips. Discover the best "Regular Does" comics from Dilbert.com.

Performance Versus Pay

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Performance Versus Pay - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 2019's comic on:


Tags #angry, #big business, #employees, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #money, #salary

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Boss: I can't give you a bonus this year because we paid too much to buy another company. Dilbert: Are you saying my efforts and my rewards are no longer linked? Boss: Noooo. I'm not saying anything like that. I'm just saying your compensation isn't influenced by your performance. Dilbert: That's the same thing! Boss: Teamwork means we all share the rewards and we all have to share the pain. Dilbert: Does that mean management won't be getting bonuses either? Boss: Now you've made it awkward.

Inexperienced Employee Advice

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Inexperienced Employee Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 2019's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #employees, #irritation, #office workers, #sarcasm, #experience, #arrogant

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Man: Hi, I'm an inexperienced employee who tells experienced employees how to do their jobs. I compensate for my lack of experience with a thing called arrogance. Dilbert: That sounds worth-less. Man: Oh, yeah? Then why does every company have one of me?

Toxic Employee Was Right

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Toxic Employee Was Right - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #employees, #fire, #managers & supervisors

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boss: does anyone have any suggestions for improving our company culture? dilbert: for starters, you could fire the toxic employee you hired for no good reason. boss whispers to toxic employee: you were right about dilbert being a hater. toxic employee: you should hear what he says about you.

Why Not A Center Of Excellence

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Why Not A Center Of Excellence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #excellence

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ceo: maybe we should creat a "center of excellence." the boss: what exactly does that mean? ceo: i think it means whatever we want it to mean. the boss: then what good is it? ceo: let's not get lost in the weeds.

Employee Engagement

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Employee Engagement - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #office, #time, #engagement

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the boss: i'm assigning you to work on our employee engagement initiative. dilbert: does it matter that i think that project sounds like a complete waste of time? the boss: nah.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #employees, #office, #office workers, #pay raise, #employee of the year

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the boss: i'm looking for nominations for employee of the year. the boss: does anyone have a suggestion? dilbert: hypothetically, would the winner of this award be likely to get a larger-than-normal pay raise? the boss: i would think so, yes. dilbert: and is it true that our budget for raises is limited? the boss: yes, of course. dilbert: would it not be against my best interests to nominate an employee who is competing with me for scarce resources? the boss: let's just forget i brought it up. dilbert: i nominate myself.

Twitch Gets You More Work

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Twitch Gets You More Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #communication, #office, #office workers, #project

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the boss: does anyone have an idea for fixing our communication problem with marketing? dilbert, alice, wally and asok thinking: must...not...speak or else he will assign the project to me. the boss: i saw your eye twitch. the project is all yours. alice: GAAAA!!! visually upset

Boss Does Research On Internet

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Boss Does Research On Internet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2019's comic on:


Tags #internet, #searching, #secret, #unbelievable, #nonsense, #afraid, #truth

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Boss: I was doing some research on the internet... Dilbert: Uh-oh. Boss: And I learned that there is a secret cia base inside the sun, but no one is talking about it. Dilbert: Maybe you shouldn't do research on the internet. Boss: Why are you afraid of the truth?

Loss Of Libido

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Loss Of Libido - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 2019's comic on:


Tags #dating, #doctors, #marriage, #medicines, #relations between the sexes, #sex

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Man: My new meds totally eliminated my libido. But my doctor says I need them. Dilbert: Does your wife mind? Man: Not since she started dating my doctor.

Small Managers

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Small Managers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #computer software, #engineering, #frustration, #office workers, #sarcasm, #clients

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Boss: I told a customer we would make a small change to the software for them. Dilbert: There are no small software changes, only small managers. Boss: Dang it! Why does that sound so wise!