Relocation Costs Comic Strips

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96 Results for Relocation Costs

View 1 - 10 results for relocation costs comic strips. Discover the best "Relocation Costs" comics from Dilbert.com.

Applying Math To Guesses

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Applying Math To Guesses - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #employment, #business, #analysis, #discount rate, #installation, #maintenance, #project, #technology, #math, #guess, #sarcasm, #face mask

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boss: how confident are you in your analysis? dilbert: very confident. boss: good. dilbert: unless i used the wrong discount rate, which is hard to know. boss: but otherwise, it's solid? dilbert: except for the installation and maintenance costs, which are wild guesses. and we don't know if we sized the project right, so costs could be double or triple. boss: it sounds as if you applied math to a bunch of wild guesses. dilbert: yes, but i got the result you wanted. boss: next time, just say that.

Two Bad Options

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Two Bad Options - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #business, #business ethics, #business failures/bankruptcies, #hide, #managers & supervisors, #options, #analysis, #corporate

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Dilbert: I analyzed our only two options. One option costs too much, and the other option is impossible. Boss: Let's do the impossible one. Dilbert: Perhaps you can explain your reasoning. Boss: According to you, we will fail either way. But if we fail in a slow and inexpensive way, no one will even notice for months. With any luck, we'll have a corporate reorganization that forever hides our gross incompetence. Dilbert: Have you done this before? Boss: Every six months.

What Good Is Money

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What Good Is Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sarcasm, #income, #soul, #money, #earn, #rent, #own

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dilbert on couch at home: what good is earning money if it costs me my soul? dogbert: well, for one thing, it's the only way you can pay your rent. dilbert: rent? i own this house. dogbert: you really should read the things i ask you to docusign.

Need To Retrain

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Need To Retrain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #business, #office, #retrain, #proposal, #employees, #risk, #cost, #work

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boss: your idea is dumb because we'd have to retrain people dilbert: are you waiting for a plan with no costs, no work, and no risk? boss: yes, why are you holding that one back?

Your Real Scheme

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Your Real Scheme - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #office, #business, #scheme, #power, #costs, #mind, #reader, #psychology

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dilbert: and this method will reduce costs by thirty percent. ted: nice try, but i know your real scheme is to grab power. dilbert: you're not a good mind reader ted: and yet i knew you would say i can't read minds, explain that

New Cubicles

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New Cubicles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #cubicle

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boss: are you enjoying your new cubicles? alice: my old cubicle had a window view. my new cubicle is in a windowless room with gray walls. it's always too cold, and i'm surrounded by noisy people i dislike. i feel anxious, unhealthy, and depressed all day long. thanks to the office relocation, my life has become a rapid descent into madness. boss: on the plus side, we saved five precent in rent. no one ever likes to hear about the plus side.

Homeless Employees

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Homeless Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #concern, #cost, #employees, #homeless persons, #office workers, #pretend

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Dogbert: We need to do something about our employees being homeless. Housing costs are too high around here. Boss: Maybe we could pay them more. Dogbert: I was thinking more along the lines of pretending to be concerned. Boss: I like where you're going with this.

Housing Costs

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Housing Costs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cost, #discussion, #homeless persons, #house

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Asok: Housing costs are so high that I had to move into a restroom stall. Man: I live in the park under a pile of wet cardboard. Asok: Have you tried a stall? Man: No, I'm too outdoorsy for that.

Asok Lives In The Office

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Asok Lives In The Office - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #cost, #criticism, #house, #office, #office workers, #expectations

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Boss: All of you should be more like Asok. He is in the office before I arrive and still here when I go home. Asok: That is because housing costs are so high that I live here in the office and sleep in a bathroom stall. Boss: That still leaves a lot of stalls for the rest of you.

Award For Cutting Costs

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Award For Cutting Costs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #award, #cutting, #costs, #department, #underfunded, #losers, #awards, #help

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CEO: I am proud to give you this award for cutting costs more than any other department. Dilbert: All of our projects failed because they are underfunded. CEO: How do you put up with these losers? The Boss: The awards help.