Requires Two People Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for requires two people comic strips. Discover the best "Requires Two People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Two Futures

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Two Futures - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2020's comic on:


Tags #psychology, #future, #brakes, #cliff, #die, #instant

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Dogbert The Futurist dogbert: i see two potential futures for you. in one future, your brakes fail and you drive off a cliff, dying instantly upon impact. office worker: and in the other future? dogbert: it's less instant.

Mandatory Blockchain Class

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Mandatory Blockchain Class - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #class, #mandatory, #blockchain, #introductory, #experienced, #developer, #instructor, #phone call

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boss: you haven't completed the mandatory class on blockchain. dilbert: that's an introductory class. i'm already an experienced blockchain developer. boss: the class is mandatory. every developer needs to check the box. dilbert: just check the box for me. boss: only the instructor can do that. and i don't want to call him because he rambles on and on. dilbert looking distressed: you want me to take a two-day class so you won't have to make a phone call? boss: i knew you'd understand. dilbert: what if taking the class causes me to miss my deadlines? boss: no problem. i'll just cancel your bonus.

Transfer Money To The Rich

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Transfer Money To The Rich - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2020's comic on:


Tags #computer, #technology, #cloud, #social, #change, #transfer, #money, #low-income, #rich, #wrong, #efficient

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dogbert at laptop: now that i'm managing the cloud, it's time to make some social changes. i'll transfer any remaining money from low-income people to the rich. dilbert in bath robe: that feels wrong. dogbert: i'm just adding efficiently to the inevitable.

Selling Private Data

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Selling Private Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #job, #management, #cloud, #data, #people, #private, #information, #laugh, #market, #sell, #email, #friend

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dogbert: the only reason i took a job managing cloud data is so i could laugh at people's private information. dogbert: then i discovered a robust market for selling that kind of stuff, so it's a twofer. dilbert: we need to talk. dogbert: sure. just email your thoughts to a friend, and i'll probably read them.

Dogbert In The Cloud

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Dogbert In The Cloud   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #personal, #information, #cloud, #safe, #worry, #trust, #manage, #system, #browser, #history

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boss: i'm concerned that storing my personal information in the cloud is not safe. dilbert: don't be such a worrier. i'm sure we can trust the people who manage those systems to keep us safe. somewhere in the cloud dogbert: hee-hee! look at the browser history on this bunion-having loser.

Elbonian Consultant

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Elbonian Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #consultant, #elbonia, #people, #local, #problem, #distribution, #execute, #Opinion, #barber

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boss: i hired an elbonian consultant because we couldn't afford anyone local. dilbert: have you ever consulted in this country? elbonian consultant: no, but people are people, so i assume it isn't that different from elbonia. boss: that's enough chitchat. tell us what we should do about the problems in our distribution system. elbonian system: i recommend executing one of your distributors as a warning to the others. boss: i'm going to need a second opinion. elbonian consultant: my second opinion is that your barber must hate your guts.

Judging By Looks

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Judging By Looks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #interview, #manager, #judge, #offensive, #social media, #nonesense

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boss: i'd like to offer you a job, but ten years ago you said something offensive on social media. interviewee: i'm not the same person i was ten years ago. you are judging me by the actions of someone who literally no longer exists. boss: i get your point, but if i go back to the old way of judging people by their looks, we still end up in the same place.

Purchasing Department

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Purchasing Department - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #purchasing, #vendor, #market, #quote, #coffee

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Purchasing Manager Bob: you need there vendor quotes, or i can't approve it. dilbert: there are only two vendors in that market. bob: come back when something changes.

Ceo Is Like Normal People

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Ceo Is Like Normal People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #office environment, #cubicle, #work, #normal, #people, #respect, #stupid

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ceo: even though i am you ceo, i work out of a cubicle just like normal people. you probably respect that. alice: no, it sounds stupid. ceo: then why am i torturing myself in that putrid cubicle? alice: see prior answer.

Alice And Blockchain

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 Alice And Blockchain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #technology, #project, #learn, #skills

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alice: i'd like to help on the blockchain project to build my skills in that area. boss: i don't like it when people learn new things. alice: i don't know what to say to that. boss: oh, good. it worked.