Risk Assessment Tools Comic Strips
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119 Results for Risk Assessment Tools
View 1 - 10 results for risk assessment tools comic strips. Discover the best "Risk Assessment Tools" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday June 02,
2020
Face Mask Assissination
Tags #health & safety, #office workers, #suspicion, #pandemic, #virus, #risk
Transcript
Carol: I think we should seriously consider ending the face mask policy. Boss: You know I'm in a high-risk group, and you are in a low-risk group. Are you trying to assassinate me? Carol: You can't prove that. Boss: I was hoping for something closer to a denial.
Monday June 01,
2020
Wally Has Symptoms
Tags #lie, #office workers, #sickness, #pandemic, #virus
Transcript
Wally: My throat has a tickle, so I'd better take a month off of work. The coronavirus tests can have some false negatives, and I love you too much to put you at risk. Dilbert: Did it work? Wally: No, I sold it too hard.
Wednesday May 27,
2020
Boss Is In A High Risk Group
Tags #criticism, #health & safety, #office workers, #sarcasm, #virus, #pandemic, #risk
Transcript
Carol: Are you worried about coronavirus because you're in a high-risk group? Boss: Why would I be in a high-risk group? Carol: Do you own a full-length mirror? Boss: No. They make me look fat.
Saturday April 25,
2020
Social Distancing
Tags #business, #eighties, #health, #hug, #managers & supervisors, #practice, #social distancing, #virus, #coronavirus
Transcript
boss with face mask: wally, i need you to practice "social distancing" until the virus risk has passed. wally: i already do that. i haven't hugged anyone since the eighties. boss: good job. high-five. wally: back off.
Tuesday April 07,
2020
Three Dogberts
Tags #business, #Dogbert, #marketing, #plan, #clone, #singularity, #event, #book
Transcript
dogbert on desk with three dogberts behind him: i've got three dogberts working on your marketing plan, but even that isn't enough. i'd bump it up to five dogcarts, but then we risk creating a singularity event. boss: i don't get it. dogbert: read a book.
Thursday February 20,
2020
What Is The Bra
Tags #office workers, #business, #risk, #assessment, #mock, #teamwork, #acronym
Transcript
office worker: what's the b.r.a. on that? dilbert: jus? office worker: you look dumb in front of everyone for not knowing b.r.a. stands for business risk assessment. we'll probably mock you behind your back. dilbert talking to the boss: i don't think your teamwork exercises are working.
Wednesday November 20,
2019
Elbonian Spy
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #elbonian, #spy, #engineers, #economy, #intellectual, #property, #collaborate
Transcript
boss: i hired an elbonian spy who, i assume, will try to steal our intellectual property. it's hard to find good engineers in this economy, so that is a risk i am willing to take. dilbert, i'd like you to collaborate with him. dilbert: can we call it something else?
Sunday October 27,
2019
Boss Negotiates With Elbonia
Tags #big business, #business ethics, #government, #money, #partisan politics, #stealing, #negotiate
Transcript
Boss: I'm negotiating a deal with the government of Elbonia. They agreed to buy a thousand dollars of our products. All I had to do was agree to let them steal all of our intellectual property. Dilbert: Wouldn't it be better for us if they didn't steal our I.P.? Boss: You have to look at the big picture. They also agreed to stop killing tens of thousands of our citizens with their illegal drug shipments. Dilbert: Did they stop? Boss: No, but they said they would. Dilbert: Maybe you should negotiate harder. Boss: And risk losing a thousand dollars of revenue?
Thursday October 10,
2019
Need To Retrain
Tags #technology, #business, #office, #retrain, #proposal, #employees, #risk, #cost, #work
Transcript
boss: your idea is dumb because we'd have to retrain people dilbert: are you waiting for a plan with no costs, no work, and no risk? boss: yes, why are you holding that one back?
Friday July 12,
2019
Unforseen Risks
Tags #blame, #boss, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #risks
Transcript
Boss: How can you be sure there are no unforeseen risks with this plan? Dilbert: It is not possible to know if one has considered every risk. Therefore, we can never be sure. Boss: So...I can still blame you for any problems that pop up? Dilbert: Yes, that part of the process is still intact.