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Transfer Money To The Rich

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Transfer Money To The Rich - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2020's comic on:


Tags #computer, #technology, #cloud, #social, #change, #transfer, #money, #low-income, #rich, #wrong, #efficient

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dogbert at laptop: now that i'm managing the cloud, it's time to make some social changes. i'll transfer any remaining money from low-income people to the rich. dilbert in bath robe: that feels wrong. dogbert: i'm just adding efficiently to the inevitable.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2001's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #monday morning, #travel all day, #stealing life, #reschedule, #social plans, #business

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The Boss sits behind his desk and says, "I told them you would be at the meeting Monday morning." Dilbert says, "What?? That means I have to travel all day Sunday. You're stealing my life!" Dilbert sits on the couch in his robe eating. He turns to Dogbert and says, "Then he said if I had social plans he'd reschedule." Dogbert replies, "Ouch."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 1999's comic on:


Tags #analyze data, #hostile takeover, #pattern, #laser pointer, #size head

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Dilbert pionts at an overhead projection and says, "Then if you.." A man interrupts and says, "...analyze the data." Dilbert thinks, "It's a hostile takeover of my presentation!" The man steps in front of Dilbert and says, "... you'll see a pattern." Dilbert sits on the couch at home in his robe eating ice cream. Dogbert says, "And you let him do it?" Dilbert says, "He had a laser ponter the size of your head."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 1999's comic on:


Tags #million bucks, #pay up, #double or nothing, #won't go to work, #naked, #exact words

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Dilbert comes home from work still wearing his robe.. Dilbert says, to dogbert, "You said you'd give me a million bucks if I went to work like this. Pay up." Dogbert says, "I'll bet you double or nothing that you won't go to work totally naked." Dilbert sits naked in his cubicle and thinks, "Wait... what were his exact words?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 1999's comic on:


Tags #million dollars, #call bluff, #going now, #long debate

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Dilbert sits in his robe, he eats breakfast and reads the newspaper. Dogbert says, "I'll give you a million dollars if you go to work like that." Dilbert stands up and says, "I'll call your bluff. I'm doing it. I'm going right now!" Dogbert says, "Go ahead!" Dogbert reads the paper and thinks, "Tonight I expect a long debate over the exact definition of "go to work like that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 1999's comic on:


Tags #quick question, #innocent work realted, #question, #try to impress, #knowledge of engineering, #pathetic hope, #value, #intelligence, #physical appearence, #red bmw, #lights on

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Dilbert peeks into a women's cube. Dilbert says, "Can I ask you a question?" She says, "I doubt it." She says, "Oh, sure it'll start as an innocent work-realted question." She says, "Then you'll try to impress me with your knowledge of engineering..." She says, "... in the pathetic hope that I value intelligence over physical appearance." She stands up and says, "Well, I don't!! I only care about looks!" Dilbert says, "Do you drive a red BMW? The lights are on." Dilbert sits in a robe on the couch. Dogbert says, "And you still tried to ask her out?" Dilbert says, "She's hard to read."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 1999's comic on:


Tags #lost two pounds, #less of you, #happy, #scrap of encouragemnet, #tapped out

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It's the morning, Dilbert wears his robe. Dogbert reads the newspaper. Dilbert says, "I lost two pounds!" Dogbert says, "I'm happy. Guess why." Dilbert says, "Because you're supportive?" Dogbert says, "Because there's less of you." Dilbert says, "I was hoping for a scrap of encouragement." Dogbert says, "I'm all taooed out. Try back tommorrow."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 1999's comic on:


Tags #how to book, #teach people, #winning lottery numbers, #find free real estate, #lose weight, #tubs of ice cream, #strong abs, #see angels, #near death experience, #get rid witnesses

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Dogbert sits at Dilberts computer. Dilbert stands in a robe with a cup of coffee. Dogbert says, "I'm writing a comprehensive "how to" book." Dogbert says, "In chapter one, I teach people how to pick winning lottery numbers." Dogbert says, "Chapter two: How to find free real estate in very nice neighborhoods." Dogbert says, "Chapter three: how to lose weight by eating huge tubs of ice cream." Dogbert says, "Chapter four: how to build strong abs by joining a gym and never going." Dogbert says, "Finally, how to see angels by giving yourself a near death experience." Dogbert says, "That last one is just to get rid of all the witnesses." Dilbert thinks, "On the plus side I don't feel so bad about not recycling."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 1998's comic on:


Tags #bill for freindship, #giving freeliy, #trust, #sharing, #face of deadbeat, #reaching

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Dogbert stands on the kitchen table with a piece of paper in one hand and a pencil in the other. Dilbert sits, dressed in a robe eating breakfast. Dogbert says, "Here's my bill." Dogbert explains, "It's for all the time we've spent together when I didn't enjoy it." Dilbert reads the piece of paper. Dogbert says, "If it wasn't fun, it must have been work." Dilbert explains, "Dogbert, let me explain what friendship is all about." Dilbert says, "Friendship is about giving freely of oneself. It's about trust and sharing." Dilbert hands the bill back to Dogbert. Dillbert says, "Now, I expect you'll want this back." Dogbert responds, "Yes." Dogbert examines the bill. Dogbert says, "I need to round it up to the next hour." Dogbert hands the bill to Dilbert. Dogbert says, "No checks. You have the face of a deadbeat." Dilbert's shoulders slump. Dilbert sighs, "I don't think that I'm reaching you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 1997's comic on:


Tags #gauge glug, #keep discipline, #tendency snack, #zesty italian dressing, #telecommunting

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Alice is telecommuting. She's dressed in a bath robe and sitting at the table with some food and a speaker phone. The voice on the telephone says, "How do you like telecommuting, Alice?" Alice says, "It's good, except I've developed a tendency to snack." Alice tosses her head back and takes big gulping drinks from a bottle. The voice says, "I'm sure you'll keep your discipline." Alice says, "I LOVE Zesty Italian dressing." Alice burps.