Ruin Career Comic Strips

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206 Results for Ruin Career

View 1 - 10 results for ruin career comic strips. Discover the best "Ruin Career" comics from Dilbert.com.

Management Got Virus

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Management Got Virus   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #health, #management, #coronavirus, #quarantined, #work, #wisdom, #idiot, #theme, #face mask, #sarcasm

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catbert: the entire management team has contracted coronavirus and is quarantined. they asked me to tell you to stop working, because without their wisdom, you idiots will ruin everything. any questions? dilbert: no, i think you covered the main themes.

Lifetime Of Being Wrong

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Lifetime Of Being Wrong  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #wrong, #decision, #career, #assess, #life, #sarcasm, #face mask

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dilbert: i think you're wrong. co-worker: what error did i make? dilbert: i'm basing my decision on your entire career of being wrong about everything. i hope i'm not the first person to point that out. co-worker: give a minute to reassess my entire life.

Boss Fired For Being White Supremacist

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Boss Fired For Being White Supremacist  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #racism, #fired, #employees, #white supremacist, #apathy, #career, #punch, #witness, #denial

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ceo: i have to fire you because employees are saying you are a white supremacist. boss: but i'm not. ceo: doesn't matter. i care more about my career than your life. boss: you're firing me just to look good? ceo: and i'll need to punch you in front of witnesses.

Decisions Without Data

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Decisions Without Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #decision, #managers & supervisors, #business, #time, #compile, #facts, #guess, #career

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dilbert with face mask: i need a quick decision on this, but i don't have time to compile the relevant facts. boss with face mask: without facts, i would just be guessing. dilbert: it won't affect your career average. boss: why wouldn't it? dilbert: let's change the subject.

Passion

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Passion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #business, #live, #parents, #passion, #job, #match, #career, #porcelain, #frog, #fault

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office worker: i still live with my parents because i can't find a job that matches my passion. dilbert: what is your passion? office worker: i collect porcelain frogs. dilbert: that isn't a career. office worker: how is that my fault?

Thwarting Alice's Career

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Thwarting Alice's Career - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #mentor, #deny, #Promotion, #compete, #thwart, #career, #business

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alice: can you mentor me? boss: heck, no. you're only one promotion away from competing for my job. alice: well, maybe you could just stop thwarting my career? boss: no, same issue.

Why Did You Not Tell Me Sooner

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Why Did You Not Tell Me Sooner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #career, #information, #office, #problem

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the boss to dilbert: why didn't you tell me about this problem earlier? dilbert: because you would have made decisions based on incomplete information and ruined my career. the boss walking away: okay, i didn't realize that was obvious.

Dilbert Quits To Get A Raise

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Dilbert Quits To Get A Raise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #boss, #conscience, #rethink, #quit, #raise, #going along, #don't, #ruin

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Dilbert: I can't in good conscience support inaccurate health claims about our products. I quit. Boss: I'll give you 20% raise if you stay. Wally: I quit too, because of all the ethnics and stuffs. Dilbert: Don't ruin this for me.

Thankless Tasks

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Thankless Tasks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #career, #employment, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #optimism

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Man: My career goal is to have a job with greater recognition, autonomy, and a sense of purpose. Boss: We'll miss you. Man: I was hoping to get that stuff here. Boss: We're more about thankless tasks.

Horse Blinders

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Horse Blinders - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #communication, #employees, #office, #office workers, #work

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Dilbert: I added horse blinders to my noise-cancellation headphones. You tried to ruin my productivity by moving to an open office plan, but I have thwarted your evil ambitions. Boss: Experts say the open plan is better for communication. Dilbert: Are you talking? I can't tell.