boss, alice and dilbert wearing face masks.
boss: i have been unjustly accused of being a white supremacist, and my boss just fired me for it. alice is the obvious choice to take my job, so i assume you will hear something on that soon. i wish i knew who had the motive to start that rumor and get me fired.
boss to catbert: the secret to being a great manager is hiring people who are smarter than you are. then you have to take credit for their successes so they don't take your job. i also find it helpful to start rumors that they steal.
Asok: Is it true you married a human woman and she gave birth to a cyborg?
Robot: No, that's a ridiculous rumor.
Asok: Oh, good.
Robot: We're co-parenting. We never got married.
The Boss: Where's the career criminal I hired to do tech support? He was last seen talking to you.
Alice: Rumor has it that someone murdered him, covered him in with-out and tried to pass him off as a statue in the lobby.
Dilbert: I would report this if it did't look so darned good here.
Boss: There is absolutely no truth to the rumor that management is thinking about reorganizing the department. But reorganizing would obviously be a smart thing to do. Dilbert: Then why are you not considering it? Boss: This is exactly why no one likes you.
Narrator: How conspiracy theories happen... Carol: Alice says you deleted her files on the server. Dilbert: That didn't happen. She's nuts. Carol: Ha! You wouldn't be so angry if it weren't true. Dilbert: What? That doesn't even make sense. Carol: That's exactly what guilty people say. Narrator: Continued...
Narrator: How conspiracy theories happen. Catbert: I've heard from multiple sources that you deleted Alice's files on the server. Dilbert: Your multiple sources all heard it from Alice. That is only one source. Catbert: He didn't deny it. Narrator: Continued...
Narrator: How conspiracy theories happen. Boss: Alice says you're trying to cover up the fact that you deleted her files. Dilbert: I didn't delete her files. You're both insane. Alice: What did he say? Boss: He tried to gaslight me. That proves he's guilty. Narrator: Continued...
Dogbert consults
Dogbert: Nevre insult your co workers directly. The company would fire you for that.
Instead say you heard a rumor but you can't divulge your source.
Asok: that feels wrong.
Dogbert: Someone told me your dating your pillow.
Wally: If Ted complains about me not doing my job, keep in mind that he steals from the company. And he only has time for stealing because sometimes he takes time off from all of his lying. Dilbert: What was that all about? Wally: I was laying down suppressive fire.
