Scarp Metal Comic Strips

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13 Results for Scarp Metal

View 1 - 10 results for scarp metal comic strips. Discover the best "Scarp Metal" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2011's comic on:


Tags #afterlife, #death & dying, #international economic integration, #secure a long term supply, #rare earth, #metal, #rare earth metals, #dying, #reincarnating, #20% chance, #born chinese

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The Boss says, "Our consultant will tell us how we can secure a long-term supply of rare earth metals for our products." The Boss says, "China has the most of the rare earth metals. Try dying. And reincarnating. There's a 20% chance that you'll be born Chinese." The Boss says, "What's plan B?" Dogbert says, "If the only part that goes wrong is the Chinese part, you can try dying again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2008's comic on:


Tags #coffe maker, #aggressive, #machine, #contraption, #big, #metal, #fierce, #ridiculous

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Wally: You must be the new coffee machine. Thoop! It's aggressive, but I like that in my coffee makers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 2004's comic on:


Tags #paranoid, #emplooyees, #trying to kill, #pauses between words, #no payment, #ruled out paranoia, #session, #therapist session, #crazy, #couch, #offensive, #cheap, #reluctance to heal

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The Boss: I think my employees are trying t kill me. Am I paranoid? The boss: put your answer in an metal. O spot want to be paying for the pauses between you words. Therapist: Ive ruled out paranoia. The Boss: phew thats a relief.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2003's comic on:


Tags #being male, #excellence award, #bend metal, #steel spike, #highest paid, #department

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Dilbert: I need to find a way to bend this steel rod into a 'U.' Wally: I'll take care of it. I won the prestigious "steel spike award" For engineering excellence. Alice: what??!! Wally: I guess its validation for being the highest paid in the department....and for being male.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 2002's comic on:


Tags #treasure hunt, #loot, #thrill of hunt, #seed the carpet, #nickles, #can't find

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Wally is walking with his metal detector. Dilbert leans over his cubicle wall and asks him, "How's the treasure hunt going? Have you found any loot?" Wally responds, "It's not about the 'loot' as you say. We detectors are motivated by the thrill of the hunt." Dilbert says, "I could seed the carpet with nickels." Wally responds, "I tried that but I can't find them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 2002's comic on:


Tags #find calling, #life and waste, #metal detector, #no to bottle cap, #priceless treasure

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Wally is walking down the hallway with a metal detector. Alice asks him, "Wally, what do you expect to find here with a metal detector?" Wally responds, "My first choice is some sort of priceless treasure. But I wouldn't say no to a bottle cap." Alice leaves and Wally thinks to himself, "I finally find my calling in life and I waste all day explaining it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 1999's comic on:


Tags #most common metal errors, #hot day, #heel, #add anew category

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Dogbert stands in Dilbert's cubicle with a clipboard. Dogbert says, "In order to save time, I made a checklist of your most common mental errors." Dilbert says, "It'll be a hot day in hell before you need that, my friend." Dogbert looks at the paper and says, "I need a new category."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #metal detector, #psychic powers, #skeptic, #skeptic drawers, #unicorns

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Dogbert stands on the table and says to Ken the Skeptic, "If your controlled tests have never found psychic powers, how do you know the tests work for that sort of thing?" Ken glares and folds his arms across his chest. Dogbert says, "Isn't that like using a metal detector to find out if there are unicorns in your sock drawer?" Ken says, "No!" Later that night... Ken thinks, "A skeptic checks all the drawers." He runs a metal detector over a chest of drawers.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 1996's comic on:


Tags #new product deal, #alert in effect, #danger new idea, #crush o matic

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Wally and Dilbert stand with the Boss. Dilbert says, "Wally and I came up with a great new product idea!" A voice says over an intercom, "Inspiration alert in effect!!" Another voice says, "Danger! New idea!" An arm extends down and drops a metal casing onto the Boss's head. The intercom says, "State your idea now." There is a large mallet poised over Dilbert's head that has written on it, "Crush-O-Matic." Dilbert says to Wally, "Um, you tell him."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 1994's comic on:


Tags #another war, #elbonia, #france, #french embassy, #french stopped bomb, #goading, #nothing worth destroying, #scarp metal

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Dilbert: "...The French stopped bombing Elbonia when they realized there was nothing worth destroying." "Ironically, the GNP of Elbonia tripled by selling the bomb fragments for scrap. When I left they were trying to goad France into another war." "French Embassy" Elbonian: "You call this swill champagne?? If we drank this we'd have to eat snails to get the taste out of our mouths too!!"