Search Engine Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

48 Results for Search Engine

View 1 - 10 results for search engine comic strips. Discover the best "Search Engine" comics from Dilbert.com.

Banana Is Not An Apple

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Banana Is Not An Apple - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #apple, #argue, #banana, #business, #doctored image, #google, #managers & supervisors, #search, #wrong

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert holding out banana: i'm not hungry today. do you want my banana? boss: that's an apple. dilbert: um..no this is a banana. boss: clearly it is not. dilbert: i can't believe you are making me do a google search to prove i know what a banana is. see? those are bananas. this looks just like the photos. this is a banana. those images are doctored. dilbert yelling: there are a million banana images! they are not all doctored! boss: you know how i know you are wrong? because you never admit you are wrong. gotcha! dilbert yelling: that is not a thing!!! boss: that's exactly what all the people who are wrong say.

Time Stands Still

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Time Stands Still - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #phone, #search, #time, #bored, #Win, #still

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i discovered a way to make time stand still. dilbert: that isn't possible. dogbert: i'll prove it. i just need to find something on my phone and show it to you. looking... looking... here it is! wait... no, that isn't it. looking... looking... dilbert distressed: gaaa! i'm so bored watching you look through your phone!!! time is standing still! you win...and i hate you. dogbert: totally worth it.

Hiring Unethical Scientist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hiring Unethical Scientist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #suspicious, #boss, #lawyer, #help, #search, #straightforward, #scientist, #bidding, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're looking for a scientist who can be easily influenced by money to back our product claims. Lawyer: I'm perfect for that job. I have no ethnical boundaries whatsoever. Boss: But you won't try to con us, right? Lawyer: You can't have it both ways.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #accomplishment, #narcissist, #narcissism, #review, #firing, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: The Underperforming Narcissist. Boss: Topper, you've accomplished nothing this year. Topper: Are you kidding? I'm the greatest employee this world has ever seen! Boss: You have literally done nothing useful for a year. Topper: Don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows that "less is more." And I've done far less than anyone. Wally: Sorry I'm late. I thought I heard an animal trapped in my car's engine. Boss: Did you do less than Wally? Topper: Maybe we could continue this talk when he's not in the office. Wally: Any time before 11 a.m. is usually good.

Boss Survives Fall From Bridge

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Survives Fall From Bridge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accident, #falling, #walking, #help, #emergency, #apathy, #Sports

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I survived falling off the bridge when we were taking our long walk to discuss business. I ended up a mile downstream. That's probably why the search team didn't find me. Dilbert: Yup.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #slacker, #entire career, #listen to podcasts, #drink coffe, #surf internet, #multi slacking

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I've been a slacker my entire career, but now I want more out of life. My plan is to listen to podcasts while I drink coffee and search the Internet for fun. Dilbert: Multi-slacking? Wally: Wish me luck.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition (psychology), #pride, #a-b testing, #traffic to site, #most effective search terms, #wingless skunk, #junkyard sbnack, #planned injury, #topper

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: I did A-B testing and found the search terms that bring the most people to our site. The most effective search terms are "wingless skunk," "junkyard snack," and "planned injury." Topper: Well, duh! You could have just asked me. Topper

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet & world wide web, #inventions, #google search engine, #existing prodcuts, #crushing dreams, #new invention

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Behold my new invention, the likes of which the world has never seen. Dogbert: Behold my Google search engine that will find several existing products that do whatever that thing does. Dilbert: Please don't. Dogbert: Google: crushing dreams since 1998. click click click

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #fake websites, #gullibility, #idiopathy epidemic, #internet & world wide web, #search engine, #slap the victim

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I've learned to control reality by creating fake websites and doing search engine optimization. Boss: Did you hear about the idiopathy epidemic? They symptoms include pointy hair and gullibility. The only treatment is for someone else to slap the victim. Alice: Ask for it like you mean it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #twins, #meeting, #clone, #cooler clone, #clear view, #engine purr, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Is it awkward being in the same meeting as a cooler version of yourself? Scoot back so I can get a clear view. This guy really makes my engine purr. A little more.