Shake Comic Strips
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56 Results for Shake
View 1 - 10 results for shake comic strips. Discover the best "Shake" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday April 20,
2020
No Handshaking
Saturday January 18,
2020
Poison Pill
Tags co-worker, cross-train, business, relationship, training, bad, fire, poison pill, planner
Transcript
dilbert: i can't shake the feeling that you are intentionally doing a bad job training me how to do your job functions. ted: i'm omitting important steps, so you'll fail hard should i get fired and you are asked to fill in. it's called a "poison pill." dilbert: you're a good planner.
Wednesday April 10,
2019
Alice Won't Shake Hands
Tags business, office, office workers, presentation, germs
Transcript
the boss attempting a handshake: great job on the presentation. alice: i prefer to avoid contact with that festering germ colony you call a hand. the boss: okay. better safe than sorry. alice: and could you face backward when you talk to me?
Saturday June 10,
2017
Dilbert Tries To Get Funding
Tags budget, money, spending, projects, upgrades, technology, software, engineering
Transcript
Man: Who are you? Dilbert: I'm an engineer on an unfunded project. I'm attending random meetings to see if I can shake loose some spare budget money. Man: We'll be talking about the mandatory software upgrade. Dilbert: Sounds like a huge waste of money.
Friday January 02,
2015
Dilbert Meets The Mom
Tags dating, low standards, meeting people, parents, mother, efficiency, ebola, shake hands, Family, relationships
Transcript
Woman: Mom, this my date, Dilbert. He only wears tube clothes. Dilbert: For the efficiency. Whoa! Before I touch that paw, have you been to any Ebola hot spots lately? Woman: He has a job. Dilbert: My time has come!
Friday April 25,
2014
Tags can't memorize names, handshake, simultaneously, names, introductions
Transcript
Randy: Hi. I'm Randy. Dilbert: I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time. Randy: It's Randy. Dilbert; Don't even bother. Seriously.
Thursday September 05,
2013
Tags embarrassment, internet & world wide web, interviews, resume, old way, job interview, data online data, ew, disgust, walked out
Transcript
Boss: I don't need to see your resume. That's the old way of hiring. Now we use data from the Internet to see what you've been up to lately. Ew. Applicant: I'll show myself out. Boss: You'll understand if I don't shake your hand.
Sunday August 25,
2013
Tags natural disasters, disaster preparedness, famine, keyboard, crumbs, alene invasion, kill a coworker, lizard people, impending collison, asteroid, running in place, earth rotates, planet, hit by asteroid, human flesh, presentation is a disater
Transcript
Wally: I've been asked to explain our disaster preparedness plan. In the event of a famine, turn your keyboard upside down and shake. If it's anything like mine, you'll find a pound and a half of crumbs. In the event of an alien invasion, your best bet is to kill a co-worker to show your allegiance to the lizard-people. In the event of an impending collision with an asteroid, try running in place while the Earth rotates. If you time it right, you'll be on the other side of the planet when the asteroid hits. To prepare for every other type of disaster, I recommend cultivating a taste for human flesh. Boss: Your presentation is a disaster. Wally: And next time you'll be prepared for it.
Wednesday May 08,
2013
Tags anger, etiquette & ethics, biggest customer, random drug sample, awkward
Transcript
Boss: Wally, I'd like you to meet the CEO of the company that is our biggest customer. Wally: I'd shake but I have coffee in one hand, my random drug test sample in the other, and I don't want either one to get cold. Hey, I'm not the one who made this awkward.
Thursday January 17,
2013
Tags business shake, etiquette & ethics, handshake, macaroni and cheese, moist and squishy
Transcript
Coworker: Hi, I'm Allen, from Sales. Dilbert: Dilbert. Your handshake feels like a wet sock full of macaroni and cheese. It makes me wish we never met. Coworker: Please let go of my hand. Dilbert: It's moist and squishy.

