Shifting Blame Comic Strips

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118 Results for Shifting Blame

View 1 - 10 results for shifting blame comic strips. Discover the best "Shifting Blame" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert Teaches Safety

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 Dogbert Teaches Safety - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2020's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #safety, #training, #simple, #corporate

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Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's corporate safety training. Don't touch anything, don't move around, and don't talk to anyone, ever! Thanks for coming. Dilbert: That's the whole class? Dogbert: Don't blame me for being good at summarizing.

Extra Dogbert Clone

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Extra Dogbert Clone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #marketing, #genius, #problem, #company, #situation, #clone, #blame

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the marketing genius dogbert: my genius alone will not be enough to fix the problems at this company. this looks like a five-dogbert situation. that is why i arranged to clone myself five times. boss: what's the extra clone for? dogbert: that one takes the blame.

Platinum Level Service

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Platinum Level Service - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #forecasting, #future, #predict, #industry, #blame, #sell, #upsell, #platinum

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boss: i hired you to predict the future, of our industry, but everything you say makes me sad. dogbert: don't blame me. i only predict the future. i don't make the future. unless you buy my special platinum level service. boss: nice upsell.

Upgrade Schedule

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Upgrade Schedule - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #vendor, #network, #upgrade, #allocating, #technology

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vendor: we should be able to finish the network upgrade in about three months. dilbert: when you bid for the job. you said it would take thirty days. vendor: if we're allocating blame. i'm not the one who was dumb enough to believe me.

Hypothetical Observer

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Hypothetical Observer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 27, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #employees, #insults, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm, #idiot

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Dilbert: Thank you for explaining to me how to do my job, for which I am highly trained and you are not. An observer might be tempted to say only an idiot would do such a thing. Boss: Is that an insult? Dilbert: Hey, don't blame me for what a hypothetical observer says.

Best Employees

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Best Employees  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 2019's comic on:


Tags #big business, #confused, #employees, #customer service

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CEO: We have the best employees in the industry! Dilbert: Then why are we ranked last in customer satisfaction? CEO: I blame our customers. Wally: Why can't they be awesome like us?

Finding A Scapegoat

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Finding A Scapegoat - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #project, #ceo, #scapegaot, #climate change

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the boss: we'll need a scapegoat to blame for our failure on this project. dilbert: no one will believe it wasn't our fault. the boss: are you kidding? the boss: people will believe anything. the boss: we just have to be the first to frame the situation. dilbert: i suppose we could make our lie sound credible. the boss: that's overkill. dilbert: we don't need to sound credible? the boss: not even a little. the boss is in ceo's office. the boss: our project failed because of climate change. ceo: that sounds right.

Unforseen Risks

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Unforseen Risks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2019's comic on:


Tags #blame, #boss, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #risks

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Boss: How can you be sure there are no unforeseen risks with this plan? Dilbert: It is not possible to know if one has considered every risk. Therefore, we can never be sure. Boss: So...I can still blame you for any problems that pop up? Dilbert: Yes, that part of the process is still intact.

Dilbert Starts The Cover Up

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Dilbert Starts The Cover Up  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 2018's comic on:


Tags #conspiracy, #aspersions, #suspicion, #blame, #proof, #guilt, #innocence

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Narrator: How conspiracy theories happen. Alice: I think Dilbert is trying to ruin my career. Carol said he was mad about something I said, and hew as in the server room right before I lost my files. This morning he said he "had work to do." Boss: OMG. He already started the cover-up. Narrator: Continued...

How Conspiracy Theories Start

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How Conspiracy Theories Start  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2018's comic on:


Tags #conspiracy, #aspersions, #guilt, #innocence, #blame

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Narrator: How conspiracy theories start. Alice: I can't find my spreadsheet files. Asok: I saw Dilbert going into the server room. Alice: That doesn't mean any... Asok: Carol said he was mad about something you said. Narrator: Continued...