Sibs Data Base Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for sibs data base comic strips. Discover the best "Sibs Data Base" comics from Dilbert.com.

Frequent Victims Club

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Frequent Victims Club - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #join, #frequent, #victim, #club, #beverage, #minute, #dollar, #track, #purchases, #sell, #data, #colleagues, #stores, #customer, #servey

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man with red apron: would you like to join our frequent victims club? dilbert: no, i just want to buy this beverage. man: you could save a dollar if you join now. it only takes a minute. dilbert: i don't want you tracking my purchases and selling my data. man: i you don't sign up, my colleagues and i will pester you to do it every time you try to buy something. dilbert: i'll take my business elsewhere! man: no. you won't. because other stores are just as bad as we are. dilbert: i am not a victim! man: tell that to the customer survey i'm about to pester you into doing.

Wally Answers Texts Later

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Wally Answers Texts Later  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #lazy, #working, #ignore, #text, #email, #response, #data

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asok: i rarely see you working. how do you get away with it? wally: it's easy. i just wait a day before answering any texts or emails. for example, here's alice asking if i can attend a meeting in an hour. i'll answer her in the morning and say i didn't see her message. And here's dilbert asking me for some data. tomorrow, i will text him to ask for clarification, and he will tell me he found the data on his own. asok: don't you feel guilty? wally: nah. they'd do the same to me. asok: and do they? wally: they would if i didn't ignore them first.

Smells Like A Trap

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Smells Like A Trap  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #disagreement, #change, #data, #reason, #trap, #insomnia

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dilbert: yesterday someone disagreed with me, and i changed his mind using data and reason. wally: that isn't possible. dilbert: i didn't think so either, but it happened. wally: smells like a trap. dilbert: i couldn't sleep all night.

Humans Making Decisions

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Humans Making Decisions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #biases, #business, #data, #decision, #guessing, #human nature, #making, #primitive, #psychology, #reason, #sarcasm, #superstitions, #technology, #science

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dilbert: when humans were primitive and dumb, they used their superstitions and biases to make decisions. eventually, science won out, and we evolved to use data and reason to make decisions. dogbert: how'd that work out? dilbert: not so good. it turns out that all of our data are unreliable and conflicting. and we don't have the mental capacity to use reason. dogbert: it's still better than guessing. dilbert: how do you know that? dogbert: you are hard to talk to.

Manage With Data

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Manage With Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #analysis, #business, #data, #face maks, #leadership, #manage, #managers & supervisors, #paralysis, #technology, #useable

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boss wearing face mask: we need to manage with data! dilbert wearing face mask: do we have any useful data? boss: not really. dilbert: so...actually we need to get data before we can use data. boss: we don't have time for your analysis paralysis! dilbert: i think you're taking both sides of the same argument. you insist on using data, but you don't want to wait for data. boss: it's called leadership. you wouldn't understand. dilbert: oh, i think i do. boss: stop being such a mask hole.

All Data Is Wrong

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All Data Is Wrong - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #co-workers, #data, #Entertainment, #experts, #guess, #horoscope, #inaccurate, #new study, #office workers, #pandemic, #sarcasm, #face mask, #covid

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dilbert and dogbert watching tv. tv: a new study shows that all data about everything is wrong. experts advised using horoscopes and guesswork to make decisions. dilbert: my co-workers already do that. dogbert: they were ahead of their time.

Credible Data

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Credible Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #credible, #data, #problem, #test, #good

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alice: i finished the data throughput tests, but the results are not credible because of a problem with the test. boss: does the non-credible data make us look good? alice: yes. boss: our name for that kind of data is "credible."

Real Data

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Real Data  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #decision, #office workers, #sarcasm, #dumb, #facts

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Man: We need to make decisions based on real data! Dilbert: Who do you imagine disagrees with that obvious statement? Man: Uh-oh. I just realized I'm dumb and never knew it. Dilbert: I hear it can sneak up on you.

Shocking Fake Video

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Shocking Fake Video - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insults, #obliviousness, #videos, #conspiracy

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Boss: Did you see the shocking claims in the video I emailed to you? Dilbert: Yes. The video is so obviously fake that only a raging moron would think any of it is true. Boss: I think it's all true. Dilbert: Welp, that's one data point in my favor.

Believing Experts

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Believing Experts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #debates, #Opinion, #expert, #facts, #current events, #Politics

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Man: Haha! You idiot! How dare you dis-agree with the foremost experts in this field! Dilbert: Here's a breaking story about those same experts being arrested today for falsifying data. In a sane world, this information would serve to modify your strong opinion. Man: That's not how any of this works.