Sit At Computer Comic Strips

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1000 Results for Sit At Computer

View 1 - 10 results for sit at computer comic strips. Discover the best "Sit At Computer" comics from Dilbert.com.

Simulation Nonsense

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Simulation Nonsense - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, computer, computer software, days, fast, nonsense, ruin, simulation, technology, upgrade, coffee

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tina: it feels as if the days are going by faster lately. dilbert: that's because we're a computer simulation that just got a software upgrade. tina: there's really nothing you can't ruin with that nonsense, is there? dilbert: i hear that a lot.

Dogbert 5 G Testing

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Dogbert 5 G Testing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, 5g, testing, low-cost, phone, prototype, eggs, fry, silly, qualified, experts, safety, email, bill

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tina: i don't want to sit too near your 5G phone prototype. i worry that it will fry my eggs. boss: don't be silly. this phone was extensively tested for safety by qualified experts. boss to dogbert: i need you to test this 5G phone for safety. dogbert at desk labeled "low-cost testing: it looks fine to me. i'll email you my bill.

Tina's Soul

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Tina's Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, laptop computer, project, team, lying, garbage, insult, soul, conscience, face mask

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tina tying on laptop computer: "no one on the project team could have foreseen that the problem that..." tina's soul: you are a lying piece of garbage. tina: who said that? tina's soul: it's your soul. we can't hang out anymore. tina: fine. you were slowing me down.

Asok Meditates

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Asok Meditates  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coffee, psychology, sarcasm, business, meditation, think, work, co-worker, technology, enlightenment

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asok: have you ever tried meditating? wally: sounds like a lot of work. asok: it is the opposite of work. all you have to do is sit in one place and think of nothing in particular. wally: can i drink coffee at the same time. asok: that is not recommended. wally: in other words, meditating is what i already do, but without the advantage of coffee? asok: perhaps you have already achieved enlightenment. wally: feels that way to me.

Dilbert Has To Upgrade Server

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Dilbert Has To Upgrade Server - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coronavirus, business, technology, network, upgrade, server, boss, latency, locks, garage, sleep, face mask, work from home

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dilbert wearing face mask and carrying computer bag: i'm going into the office to upgrade a server. according to my boss, reducing network latency is more important than my life. can i depend on you to not change the locks while i'm gone? dogbert: only if you sleep in the garage.

Dogbert Teaches Asok Tech Support

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Dogbert Teaches Asok Tech Support - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, train, tech support, problem, reboot, computer, problem solving, genius

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boss: dogbert, i need you to train asok to fill in for you on tech support. dogbert to asok: the goal of tech support is to convince the caller the problem is on their end. i do this by recommending increasingly difficult things for them to try. eventually they give up, watch and learn. dogbert on call: uh-huh... uh-huh... try rebooting your computer. now try it again while holding control -escape-space bar- delete for exactly 27.3 seconds. no luck? try looking at your computer's binary code to find any zeros and ones that are out of order. click dogbert: and he's gone. asok: genius!

Transfer Money To The Rich

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Transfer Money To The Rich - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer, technology, cloud, social, change, transfer, money, low-income, rich, wrong, efficient

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dogbert at laptop: now that i'm managing the cloud, it's time to make some social changes. i'll transfer any remaining money from low-income people to the rich. dilbert in bath robe: that feels wrong. dogbert: i'm just adding efficiently to the inevitable.

Nodding Approval

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Nodding Approval - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags co-workers, nodding, positive, reinforcement, repeat, boring, relationships

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dilbert: you have now made the same point nine times in a row while i sit here nodding. what will it take to make you stop repeating yourself? co-worker: you'll need to stop nodding in agreement. i'm addicted to positive reinforcement.

Searching On A Phone

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Searching On A Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, communication, phone, protocol, task, rude, technology, insult, fake

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tina: i have something funny to show you. just give me a minute to find it on my phone. dilbert thinking: what's the protocol in this situation? should i just sit here and stare at her pawing at her phone? i can't talk because she's focused on her task. and it would be rude to walk away. would it be an insult to look at my own phone and mentally check out from this useless interaction? tina: ah! i found it! dilbert: okay, good. tina: wait, that's not the right one. dilbert: is this why people fake their own deaths?

Dilbert Murders Robots

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Dilbert Murders Robots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, business, robot, technology, human resources, bad behavior, reboot, murder, plot, erase

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dilbert: last week i upgraded our robot's social awareness module. it immediately reported me to human resources for unspecified bad behavior. so i murdered the robot by erasing its memory and rebooting it. but another robot told it what happened, and then both of them plotted to kill me. so i erased the memory from both robots and then rebooted them. but a third robot found out about the first two, and now the entire robot community sees me as a serial killer. so i released a computer virus to kill every robot in the world, just to play it safe. wally: what happened to the lights? dilbert: uh-oh. i missed one.