Skip Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

23 Results for Skip

View 1 - 10 results for skip comic strips. Discover the best "Skip" comics from Dilbert.com.

Medicinal Coffee

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Medicinal Coffee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #addiction, #coffee, #health & safety, #medical, #side effects, #tolerance, #veins, #doctor

View Transcript

Transcript

wally in doctor's office: i drink so much coffee that i developed a tolerance for it. do you have any kind of medical-grade coffee that could take me to the next level? doctor: yes, but it has terrible side effects. wally: skip the details and shove it in my veins.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Skipping Teambuilding

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Skipping Teambuilding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #celebration, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #parties, #sarcasm, #team

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Can I skip the team-building celebration to get some work done? Boss: No, because I'm trying to change the culture. Alice: To what? Angry and unproductive? Boss: Trust the cake.

Boss Is Like A Zombie With No App

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Is Like A Zombie With No App - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mind control, #technology, #invention, #zombie

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Thanks to my new neural interface, I can control our boss using an app. I haven't written the app yet, so all he does is sit there like a zombie. Wally: Maybe we can skip the app. Alice: There's no reason to over-engineer it.

Business Plan History

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Business Plan History - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business plan, #futile, #futility, #goal, #guest artist, #logic, #plan, #john glynn

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Before we make our business plan for the coming year, let's see how well we stayed on plan last year. We ended up doing nothing that was in our plan, just like every year. Dilbert: Why do't' we skip it this year? Boss: It would be irrational to have no plan.

Tina Interviews Wally For Article

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Interviews Wally For Article - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #economist, #fraud, #interview, #jargon, #lying, #website, #total fraud, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally The Economist. Tina: I have to interview you for our website. And since you are a total fraud as an economist, why don't we skip the interview and I'll invent some quotes from you? Wally: That sound economical. Tina: Don't even try.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers, #customer service, #frustration, #installing drivers, #software, #tech support, #technical support, #technology, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Tech Support. Dilbert: The error message says my copy of Windows is not genuine. Dogbert" I'll walk you through a series of steps that won't work. Dilbert: Wait... what? Dogbert: After seventeen attempts that involve rebooting, you will lose hope. At some point you will give up and buy a new computer just to be done with it all. We'll start by uninstalling all of your drivers and reinstalling. Dilbert: Can I skip all of the useless steps and just buy a new computer? Dogbert: Sure, but you don't need to be a jerk about it.

How You Should Have Engineered It

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How You Should Have Engineered It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #engineering, #pessimism

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Let's skip to the part where I tell you how you should have engineered it instead of whatever you did. Coworker: You don't know what I did. Dilbert: I have five minutes to pretend that matters. Coworker: That's all I need.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #eupemisims, #excretaed, #jargon, #rebalancing, #streamlining, #excreted

View Transcript

Transcript

Employee: Just give it to me straight. Skip all of your jargon and euphemisms. Don't tell me you're rebalancing or offboarding or streamlining. Just talk to me the way you'd talk to your spouse. Boss: Consider yourself excreted. Employee: Well, now I see why you use euphemisms.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition (psychology), #stop level meeting, #confidentail, #retribution, #every day retribution

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Your annual skip-level meeting with my boss is next week. Everything you say about me is confidential. But just to be on the safe side, I scheduled my retribution for every day of the following year.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #summary, #history of the earth, #time, #hours

View Transcript

Transcript

The man who could not summarize Man says, "It all started 4.53 billion years ago during the Hadean eon." Man says, "I hope you don't mind if I skip over the part where the earth formed by accretion from the solar nebula." Hours Later Man says, "...And that formed what we call the moon." Dilbert says, "Maybe I'll just ask someone else what time it is."