Skipped That Step Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

58 Results for Skipped That Step

View 1 - 10 results for skipped that step comic strips. Discover the best "Skipped That Step" comics from Dilbert.com.

Not Humanly Possible

Thank you for voting.
Not Humanly Possible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 2019's comic on:

Tags #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #budget, #workflow, #procedure, #impossible, #useful

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i can't approve your budget because you didn't follow the seventeen-step workflow procedure. dilbert: it is not humanly possible to follow the company workflow procedure and also accomplish anything useful. boss: would it help if i add a few steps? dilbert: yes, if you have to go back to your office to do it.

Drooling Incompetents

Thank you for voting.
Drooling Incompetents - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #competent, #incompetent

View Transcript

Transcript

wally at team meeting. wally: i've been asked to lead this project toward failure so my boss can convince our ceo to cancel it. wally: i'd like all of the competent people on the team to step aside, while the drooling incompetents who remain drive it into a ditch. office worker: how can we know who among us are the competent ones? wally: well, for starters, they don't ask that question.

Two Step Reorg

Thank you for voting.
Two Step Reorg - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #reorganization

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i just got word that we're about to start a two-step reorg. the boss: in step one, we will centralize functions. then, in step two, we will realize it was a huge mistake and reorganize back to the old way. ted: why don't we just keep it the way it is? dilbert: first day?

Boss Leads All The Way

Thank you for voting.
Boss Leads All The Way - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 2018's comic on:

Tags #business, #encouragement, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #trick, #deadline

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We'll all need to work around the clock to meet the launch schedule. I'll be leading you every step of the way! Now, don't hate me because I can lead you while I'm home asleep. That's not my fault.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2016's comic on:

Tags #technology, #coding, #code, #control, #efficiency, #purpose, #job, #red tape, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Mordac: Step away from that open source code! Dilbert: Why? Mordac: Because I am Mordac, The Preventer of All Efficient Solutions in the Information Technology Realm. Dilbert: That isn't an actual job. Mordac: I was hoping it was. I lost the file with my job description. That was five years ago. I've been winging it since then. My parents taught me that I could be anything I wanted to be. And I wanted to be this. So don't use that code! Dilbert: Not even when you turn around?

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2016's comic on:

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #excuse, #paradox, #logic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How's the software coming along? Wally: We're in the Zeno's paradox phase of the project. Boss: The what? Wally: It means every step we take gets us halfway closer to launch. Boss: Can you keep up that pace? Wally: I'm hoping it will look that way. Boss: Is Zeno's paradox a real thing? Dilbert: You'll find out. Narrator: Next Week. Boss: How's your project? Wally: Halfway closer than last week.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 2015's comic on:

Tags #pessimism, #people, #experience, #psychic, #esp, #sixth sense, #learning, #misanthrope

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: I'll give you the data tomorrow, Asok. Asok: Thanks, Brad! Urk! Suddenly, I know I will not get that data tomorrow. Dilbert: Why are you so freaked out? Asok: I... I... think I can see the future now. Somehow I know that Brad will not do what he says he will do. Dilbert: That's called "experience." It's the first step toward hating all people. Asok: How can I make it stop? Dilbert: I hear good things about death.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 2015's comic on:

Tags #fitness, #competition, #step, #fitbit, #tracker, #technology, #competitive, #exercise, #walking, #Sports, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: According to my fitness tracker, I took 20,000 steps yesterday. Alice: What? That's double what I did. You won't win this! I will run to the ends of the earth to beat your step count! Dilbert: Do you really have a fitness tracker? Wally: No, it looks like a lot of work.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 2015's comic on:

Tags #watch, #technology, #signal, #symbol, #time, #punctual, #fitbit, #wearable tech, #outdated, #change

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I used to enjoy pointing to my watch and mocking people for being late. But it isn't as fun as it used to be. Dilbert: Is your step count low again?

In The Long Run We Are All Dead

Thank you for voting.
In The Long Run We Are All Dead - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 2015's comic on:

Tags #work, #work ethic, #existentialism, #suffering, #death, #philosophy, #pessimism, #Advice, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: As you head to your horrible job, remember these inspirational words... In the long run, we're all dead. Dilbert: That feels like an oversimplification. Dogbert: I skipped the part where you suffer for 90 years.