Small Silicon Startup Comic Strips
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128 Results for Small Silicon Startup
View 1 - 10 results for small silicon startup comic strips. Discover the best "Small Silicon Startup" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday December 02,
2020
Buying Tee Shirts
Tags #clothing, #purchase, #retail, #size, #small, #t-shirt, #home, #shopping
Transcript
dilbert and dogbert at home. dilbert: do you like my new t-shirt? it's two sizes too small, but that's all they had. dogbert: wouldn't it be better to buy shirts that you like that are also the right size? dilbert: in theory, yes. but i have been buying t-shirts for years, and i don't recall seeing that option.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday November 16,
2020
Real Men Multitask
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #software, #software design, #concentrate, #multitask, #distraction, #kill, #error
Transcript
boss: do you ever think about the fact that one small error in your software design could kill hundreds of people? all it would take is some kind of distraction while you are trying to concentrate. dilbert: are you done? boss: a real man could multitask in this situation.
Monday January 20,
2020
Startup Makes Drones With Guns
Tags #business, #danger, #military, #neighbor, #sarcasm, #technology, #drones, #machine guns
Transcript
boss: we bought a start-up that makes autonomous drones armed with machine guns. dilbert: for use by the military? boss: good idea. i hadn't thought of that. it's too dangerous for private use. dilbert: you sound just like my neighbor when he still had a gazebo.
Wednesday April 03,
2019
It Already Works
Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #phone, #nuclear
Transcript
office worker: your so-called "safe" nuclear power invention will never work. dilbert: it already works. i'm charging my phone with it. office worker: i mean, it will never be economical. dilbert: it can power a small city for a dollar per day. office worker: pffft. i'll bet it ends up costing triple that.
Monday April 01,
2019
Nuclear Power Invention
Tags #money, #office, #office workers, #nuclear power
Transcript
dilbert: i invented a new type of nuclear power that has zero risk. dilbert: it can be built in one day for less that a thousand dollars and it can power a small city. the boss visually upset and yelling: get that thing out of here! dilbert: i expect it will be hard to sell.
Thursday February 14,
2019
Small Managers
Tags #boss, #business, #computer software, #engineering, #frustration, #office workers, #sarcasm, #clients
Transcript
Boss: I told a customer we would make a small change to the software for them. Dilbert: There are no small software changes, only small managers. Boss: Dang it! Why does that sound so wise!
Tuesday July 31,
2018
Wife Starts A Business
Tags #entrepreneur, #business, #divorce, #marriage, #assumption, #small business, #relationships
Transcript
Boss: My wife is starting her own business. Carol: I'm sorry to hear that. How many years have you been married? Boss: She's not leaving me. She's starting a business. Carol: Right. Don't talk about Phase 2. Got it.
Tuesday June 13,
2017
One Small Mistake Is Doom
Tags #nervous, #Advice, #fear, #anxiety, #public speaking, #presentation
Transcript
Asok: Do you have any advice for my presentation to the CEO? Dilbert: Sure. If you make one small mistake, your career will be finished. Asok: You just made me nervous and thus doubled my risk of failure. Dilbert: I'm not the one who brought it up.
Sunday April 09,
2017
Tags #complaining, #listening, #small talk
Transcript
Boss: How's work? Dilbert: Well, since you asked... it's like being trapped in a garbage compactor and no one can hear me scream. All my hopes and dreams have died, along with my immune system and my dignity. The only thing keeping me alive is that food tastes good. I tried to escape into my imagination, but I learned I don't have one. My life has no meaning. Each second is a slow-motion ordeal. Why do I get the feeling you weren't listening to any of that? Boss:My day was good too.
Friday November 11,
2016
Nothing Else To Talk About
Tags #personality, #boring, #bored, #conversation, #small talk, #psychology
Transcript
Man: Do you want to know how we would have handled this situation at my old job? Dilbert: No. Dilbert: Nothing would interest me less. Man: My only other topics of conversation are my health problems and TV shows you haven't seen. Dilbert: I stand corrected.