Snow Tires Comic Strips

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15 Results for Snow Tires

View 1 - 10 results for snow tires comic strips. Discover the best "Snow Tires" comics from Dilbert.com.

Birds Cause Hurricanes

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Birds Cause Hurricanes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #ceo, #research, #nonsense, #hurricans, #birds, #noted, #polar bears, #hate, #snow

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CEO: I don't know enough about climate change to sound smart when people talk about it. Boss: Try doing your own research. That's how I learned that hurricanes are caused by birds. CEO: Write that down for me. Boss: And did you know polar bear hate snow?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #boss, #confused, #demanding, #corrupt, #ridiculous

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Gas up the company jet, flunky. I'm going skiing in Aspen." Man says, "Using the corporate jet for a vacation sends the wrong message." Man says, "And you can't ski in the summer." Dogbert says, "What message do forty planeloads of snow send?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer, #debunked theory, #lingerie store, #refrigeartor, #snowtires, #stomp tail, #customer always right

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Ratbert: I'd like to buy some snow tires for a refrigerator. CLerK: "This is a lingerie store. Get lost before I stomp on your tail." Ratbert: "I think I debunked the theory that the customer is always right."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #weather, #close offcie, #forecast for blizzards, #freezing rain, #tsunamis, #deadly lave flows, #precision-guided ball laightening, #swims of killer bees, #snow tires

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"The weather is getting worse. Maybe we should close the office." "No." "The forecast is blizzards, freezing rain, tsunamis, deadly lava flows, and precision-guided ball lightning." "And radiation enlarged swarms of killer bees." "Get some snow tires, you big baby."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #investigative reporter, #garbage dumps, #wasteful car, #tires, #park, #boss, #wasteful

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Investigative Reporter. A reporter and cameraman follow The Boss out of the building. The reporter says, "Explain why your company dumps garbage in the park." The Boss climbs into his giant car. The reporter continues, "And why do you drive such a huge, wasteful vehicle?" The Boss approaches Asok and says, "I need you to scrape something off my tires and take it to the park."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #teaches cobol, #elbonia, #y2k, #year 2000 problem, #four day class, #cabbge, #class dismissed

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Caption: Dilbert teaches Cobol in Elbonia. Dilbert stands in waist high snow in fron of two Elbonians. Dilbert says, "...And that's how you fix your "Year 2000" problem." Dilbert says, "This concludes my four-day class. Are there any questions." Elbonian man 1 says, "What's a year?" Elbonian man 2 says, "And is cobol a kind of cabbage or what?" Dilbert says, "Class dismissed."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #don't know cobol, #elbonia, #imaginary keyboard, #no computers, #teach cobol

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Caption: Somewhere in Elbonia. Dilbert stands waist high in snow holding his briefcase. Two Elbonians in big hats and long beards stand across from him. Dilbert says, "I've been sent to teach you cobol." Elbonian man says, "We don't have any computers." Dilbert says, "That's okay. I don't know cobol." Dilbert and the two Elbonians pretend to type on imaginary keyboards. Dilbert says, "...And if you had a keyboard, you would od this." Elbonian says, "Oops.. how do I delete?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management secrets, #earthling, #fulltime aliens, #ufo, #plowed into alp, #sharing skills, #boss and aliens

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The Boss is naked in a prison tube on an alien spacecraft. Two aliens outside the tube. One says, "Tell us your management secrets, earthling." The Boss responds, "You have too many full-time aliens flying this UFO. Downsize half of them, then roll out the ISO 9001 process." Back in the office, Dilbert and Alice listen as The Boss, who is supported by crutches and has a perplexed look on his face, finishes his story. "...But despite all of my help, they still plowed into a snow-covered alp."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #focus core bsuiness, #core business change, #misdirected failure, #car gets flat, #rotate tires, #drive home

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Wally says to the Boss, "I don't understand how the new reorganization will help us 'focus on our core business.'" Wally continues, "Did our core business change? Or are you saying that EVERY reorg prior to this was a misdirected failure?" The Boss asks hypothetically, "Wally, when a car gets a flat tire, what do you do?" Wally answers, "Well, if I'm you, I rotate the tires and drive home."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #christmas, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #office, #computer, #shopping

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Dilbert sits at his desk and Dogbert sits on the edge of the desk. Dogbert says, "How can this be the season of good cheer when I don't even have my gifts yet?" Dogbert continues, "I mean, what if you get me something stupid? I'll hate you forever and have to run away." Dilbert says, "Your psychology won't work this year. I will not buy more gifts." Dogbert says, "You'll probably find me dead in some snow bank."