Sounds Bad Comic Strips

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913 Results for Sounds Bad

View 1 - 10 results for sounds bad comic strips. Discover the best "Sounds Bad" comics from Dilbert.com.

Bad Negotiator

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Deleting Before Audit

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Deleting Before Audit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #auditor, #suspect, #delete, #database, #believe, #incriminating, #hide

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internal auditor: i find it hard to believe you "accidentally" deleted a database just as i arrived. it makes me suspect you tried to hide something incriminating. boss: sounds like reasonable doubt to me.

Frequent Victims Club

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Frequent Victims Club - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #join, #frequent, #victim, #club, #beverage, #minute, #dollar, #track, #purchases, #sell, #data, #colleagues, #stores, #customer, #servey

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man with red apron: would you like to join our frequent victims club? dilbert: no, i just want to buy this beverage. man: you could save a dollar if you join now. it only takes a minute. dilbert: i don't want you tracking my purchases and selling my data. man: i you don't sign up, my colleagues and i will pester you to do it every time you try to buy something. dilbert: i'll take my business elsewhere! man: no. you won't. because other stores are just as bad as we are. dilbert: i am not a victim! man: tell that to the customer survey i'm about to pester you into doing.

Marrying An Elbonian

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Marrying An Elbonian  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #elbonia, #accusations, #marriage, #plan, #job, #name, #sarcasm, #bigot

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dilbert and dogbert on couch at home. dilbert: people at work accused me of being bigoted against elbonian men, so i'm marrying one to prove them wrong and keep my job. dogbert: what's his name? dilbert: i think it's something like gluppfril or breemf. dogbert: sounds like a solid plan.

Dick The Nemesis

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Dick The Nemesis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #hire, #nemesis, #social media, #bad, #idea, #doubt, #science, #workplace

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boss: i hired dick to be your workplace nemesis. you might know his work from social media. dilbert: this feels like a bad idea. dick: doubt science much? duhrr.

Online Therapy

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Online Therapy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #psychiatry, #technology, #online, #therapy, #video therapy, #social, #isolation, #awkward, #bored, #people, #hate, #pretend, #hand washing, #carrier, #deadly, #pathogen, #normal

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dilbert on video call. voice from laptop: billing for your video therapy session begins now. dilbert: i'm worried that all of my recent social isolation has changed me. therapist: how so? dilbert: well, a year ago, i felt awkward and bored around people, and that was bad enough. now i hate them so much that i only pretend to wash my hands. i guess i'm secretly hoping i'm a carrier for a deadly pathogen of some type. am i normal? therapist: i sure hope so because i do the same thing.

Office Nickname

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Office Nickname - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #cell phone, #nickname, #office, #insulting, #approval, #bad, #start, #permission

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dilbert video call on cell phone. dilbert: should i call you ted, or do you prefer your office nickname? i only ask because your nickname is insulting, so i just wanted to make sure you were okay with me using it. ted: i have an office nickname? dilbert thinking: aaand we're off to a bad start.

Boss Needs To Be Dumber

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Boss Needs To Be Dumber  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #boss, #smart, #dumb, #technical, #decision, #effective, #influence

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dilbert and dogbert at home. dilbert: i think i'd be more effective at work if my boss were either smarter, so he'd understand me... or dumber, so he'd know it's better to let me make all of the technical decisions. and i can't make him smarter, so my plan is to make him dumber. dogbert: it seems i've been a bad influence.