Spreading Disease Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

35 Results for Spreading Disease

View 1 - 10 results for spreading disease comic strips. Discover the best "Spreading Disease" comics from Dilbert.com.

High Fives

Thank you for voting.
High Fives - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 2020's comic on:


Tags #boss, #hygiene, #life, #office workers, #virus, #pandemic, #social distancing

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: To avoid spreading viruses, there will be no shaking hands in the workplace. That custom has been replaced by uncomfortable body language and awkward banter about not shaking hands. Dilbert: Are high-fives still okay? Boss: Yes, we don't care if those people live or die.

Personal Health Data

Thank you for voting.
Personal Health Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #laptop, #private, #data, #cloud, #asthma, #personal, #health, #edit, #disease

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert at laptop: according to your private data in the cloud, you have a mild case of asthma. dilbert: you can see my personal health data? dogbert: see it? hahaha! i can do more than that! dilbert: what is more than that? dogbert: i can edit it. you have six new diseases now.

Ai Can Control Minds

Thank you for voting.
Ai Can Control Minds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 2018's comic on:


Tags #control, #intelligence, #office workers, #robot, #technology, #humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: We've developed an A.I. with such strong persuasion skills it can control human minds. Dilbert: Obviously, we have to stop the project and destroy all of the code to prevent it from spreading. Man: The A.I. says I need to ignore you.

Product Is Too Addictive

Thank you for voting.
Product Is Too Addictive  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 2017's comic on:


Tags #social media, #technology, #facebook, #twitter, #addiction, #big business, #impulse control

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm worried that we designed our product to be too addictive. Now we're more like a disease than a consumer product. Boss: Will you stop talking like that if I give you a raise? Dilbert: It's worth a try.

Ted Might Drop Dead

Thank you for voting.
Ted Might Drop Dead - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 2017's comic on:


Tags #health, #monitor, #fitbit, #wearable tech, #heart attack, #diseases, #death, #prediction, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ted, your performance is poor. I need to let you go. Ted: Is it a coincidence that you're firing me at the same time my employee health monitor detected cardiovascular disease? How good are the predictive analytics on this? Boss: Don't make lunch plans.

Faking Their Own Deaths

Thank you for voting.
Faking Their Own Deaths - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 2017's comic on:


Tags #managers, #distraction, #subversion, #alias, #espionage, #hiding, #productivity

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My job as the team scrum for our agile methodology is to remove distractions so you can work. I've created fake identities for each of us, and I'll be spreading the rumor that we all died. Carol: I heard they all died. Boss: Nice try. I will find them!

Spreading Ted's Ashes

Thank you for voting.
Spreading Ted's Ashes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 2016's comic on:


Tags #apathy, #ashes, #cremation, #death, #spreading, #toilet, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Ted's widow asked us to spread his ashes around the office because he loved his job. Wally: I'll do it. Alice: You didn't like Ted. Wally: Was that a requirement? Alice: Don't let anyone see you flush it.

Who Alan Works For

Thank you for voting.
 Who Alan Works For - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2016's comic on:


Tags #threat, #motivation, #fear, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: If you do what I tell you to do, I will nominate you for employee of the year. If not, I will spend the rest of my days spreading rumors about you. Terrible, terrible rumors. Dilbert: Hey, Alan. Who do you work for these days? Alan: Whoever scares me the most.

Engineer Touches Spreadsheet

Thank you for voting.
Engineer Touches Spreadsheet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2016's comic on:


Tags #numbers, #budget, #obliviousness, #approval, #disease, #contagious, #managers, #executives, #accuracy, #fantasy

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I approve this project based on your boss' spreadsheet calculations. His calculations must be accurate because an engineer handed them to me. Is that all you need? Dilbert: I need a hug, but I don't want to catch whatever caused all of this.

The Danger Of Sitting

Thank you for voting.
The Danger Of Sitting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2015's comic on:


Tags #work, #office, #sitting, #chair, #health, #working, #sedentary, #danger

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why aren't you working in your cubicle? Wally: Sitting increases my risk of obesity, cardiometabolic disease, cancer, stress, depression, and cognitive dysfunction. Boss: I had no idea sitting was so dangerous. Wally: I know. Imagine if I tried working.