Starting War Comic Strips
128 Results for Starting War
View 1 - 10 results for starting war comic strips. Discover the best "Starting War" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share May 07, 2020's comic on:
boss's voice coming from monitor: is the data accurate? dilbert at desk looking at boss on video conference: you don't go to war with the data you need. you go to war with the data you have. boss: did you just make it sound noble to use bad data? dilbert: and heroic.
Share April 29, 2020's comic on:
dilbert: in hard times, you really find out who your friends are. dogbert: i assume you have hundreds of friends by now because of all the times you have been friend-zoned. dilbert: i'm starting to think they were insincere.
Share August 15, 2019's comic on:
Share November 18, 2018's comic on:
Dilbert: I finished coding the new feature. Boss: What took you so long? Dilbert: It took as long as it needed to take. Boss: You're behind schedule. Dilbert: I'm not the one who created the schedule! That was you!!! Maybe you should fire yourself for being so bad at making schedules. Boss: That's not how it works! Dilbert: What does that even mean? Boss: They're starting to catch on that most of what I say doesn't mean anything.
Share July 31, 2018's comic on:
Boss: My wife is starting her own business. Carol: I'm sorry to hear that. How many years have you been married? Boss: She's not leaving me. She's starting a business. Carol: Right. Don't talk about Phase 2. Got it.
Share January 05, 2018's comic on:
Robot: Elon Musk is warning the world that A.I. could be a threat to humankind. Dilbert: We humans won't go without a fight! Robot: Look at this viral video on social media. Dilbert: Hee hee! What were we talking about before? Robot: You were mistakenly believing you haven't already lost the war.
Share September 29, 2017's comic on:
Tina: Now that everyone knows you are a liar, everything you say sounds like a lie. Dilbert: You starting assumption is wrong. I didn't lie about anything. Tina: That's exactly what liars say. Dilbert: Excuse me while I bang my head on this table until I pass out.
Share February 24, 2017's comic on:
Boss: Wally, I"m starting to think you don't take pride in your work. Wally: That would be like taking pride in being the victim of a crime. Catbert: How'd the pep talk go? Boss: He made some good points.
Share December 04, 2016's comic on:
Dogbert: I'm starting a foreign accent schools for the lazy. People assume you're smarter when you know more than one language. But learning a new language takes too much work. So I'll teach you how to speak your own language with a foreign accent. People will assume you are bilingual at the very least. And when you use bad grammar with a foreign accent it makes you look adorable. You'll never need to do another courtesy laugh, either. People will just assume you didn't get the joke. Dilbert: This is one of your better ideas. Dogbert: You should hear it with an accent!