Starts Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

48 Results for Starts

View 1 - 10 results for starts comic strips. Discover the best "Starts" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert Starts A Podcast

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Starts A Podcast - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #podcast

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i decided to start my own podcast. dogbert: i'm crafting my content to appeal to dumb people because that's the biggest market. dilbert: how will that make the world a better place? dogbert: based on your question, you'd enjoy my podcast.

Potluck Celebration

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Potluck Celebration - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #potluck, #friday, #team, #celebration

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss in meeting: i scheduled a potluck to celebrate the team's success. dilbert: a potluck is more like a penalty than a celebration. dilbert: but i guess it's better than working. the boss: it starts at 8 pm on friday.

Being Like A Man

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Being Like A Man - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #advertising, #business, #criticism, #men and women, #relations between the sexes, #sales

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our new advertising campaign is "Don't be like men." The ad starts with a montage of bad male behavior, from mansplaining to genocide. Then we show our product. Alice: Did a woman come up with this campaign? Boss: Stop being like a man.

Wife Starts A Business

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wife Starts A Business - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #entrepreneur, #business, #divorce, #marriage, #assumption, #small business, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: My wife is starting her own business. Carol: I'm sorry to hear that. How many years have you been married? Boss: She's not leaving me. She's starting a business. Carol: Right. Don't talk about Phase 2. Got it.

Dilbert Starts The Cover Up

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Starts The Cover Up  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conspiracy, #aspersions, #suspicion, #blame, #proof, #guilt, #innocence

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: How conspiracy theories happen. Alice: I think Dilbert is trying to ruin my career. Carol said he was mad about something I said, and hew as in the server room right before I lost my files. This morning he said he "had work to do." Boss: OMG. He already started the cover-up. Narrator: Continued...

Hire Agile Programmers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hire Agile Programmers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pun, #deception, #earthquake, #agility

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: You should move the agile programmers to building six because it has poor earthquake protection. they can jump out of the way if stuff starts falling. Boss; I guess that makes sense. Wally: Can I have one of their cubicles near a window?

Do Not Talk To Ted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Do Not Talk To Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #secret, #keeping secrets, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Don't talk to Ted until I have time to tell him I cut his project. Dilbert: When will that be? Boss: I don't know. My European vacation starts tomorrow. Ted: Do you have ten seconds to talk? Dilbert: Check back in fifteen days.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #happiness, #work ethic, #workplace happiness, #direct deposit, #mental distance, #effort, #paycheck, #no clear goal, #doing good work, #job satisafaction, #stress related problems, #highly demotivated, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Wally, what is the key to workplace happiness? Wally: Well, Asok, it all starts with direct deposit. You want to keep some mental distance between your effort and your paycheck. Next, you want to work on projects that have no clear goals or deadlines. Coworker: Hey, Wally, can you... Wally: No, I'm too busy doing various things. Asok: What about the satisfaction of doing good work? Wally: Job satisfaction is what people feel right before they die from stress-related problems. Asok: I feel highly demotivated right now. Wally: You are very welcome.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anxiety, #stress, #meltdown cubicle, #theoretical workload limit, #brains full, #becomes overdue, #projects overdue, #tasks, #urgent, #funny noise, #missed dead line

View Transcript

Transcript

Voice: Meltdown in cubicle 459540! Dilbert: That's Te. He must have reached his T.W.L. Asok: His what? Dilbert: Theoretical workload limit. In layman's terms, his brain is full. It starts when just one of your projects becomes overdue. You end up spending all of your time explaining why you didn't get it done. That makes all of your other projects overdue. When ever task become urgent, your brain can't decide what to do next. Brains make a funny noise when they shut down. Noise: Poink. Asok: Uh-oh. I just missed a deadline. Wally: And so it begins.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #late, #jacket, #emails, #parking lot, #idiot, #stupid questions, #angry, #grit teeth

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "You're two hours late." Wally says, "I was doing e-mail in the parking lot." Wally says, "I like to bang out a few hours of work before some idiot starts asking me dumb questions." Wally says, "It would be funny if the next thing you say is in the form of a question."