Stealing Data Comic Strips

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253 Results for Stealing Data

View 1 - 10 results for stealing data comic strips. Discover the best "Stealing Data" comics from Dilbert.com.

Sunday Data Dive

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Wally Invents Data

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Wally Helps The New Guy

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Wally Helps The New Guy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #training, #new, #employment

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dilbert: wally, explain to the new guy what he needs to know about the project. wally: our pdr system is downstairs from the qrd data and the bmr, so don't order a gref or else the plr will get boodled. panel shows office building with man jumping out of window, voice: i quit

Anonymous Sources

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Anonymous Sources - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #company, #anonymous, #credibility, #trust, #lie, #thief, #sources

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boss: anonymous sources tell me you have been stealing from the company. dilbert: anonymous sources have no credibility. boss: that's exactly what they told me you'd say. dilbert: why do you trust them over me? boss: well, for one thing, i hear you're a thief. dilbert: you heard that from the anonymous sources that have no credibility! boss: why would they lie to me? dilbert: same reason you lie to me. boss: okay, that makes sense.

Management Potential

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Management Potential - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #stealing, #credit, #potential, #chart

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boss reading paper: that's a great chart, ted. dilbert: actually, i made that chart a month ago, and ted stole it without giving me credit. boss to catbert: ted has management potential.

Frequent Victims Club

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Frequent Victims Club - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #join, #frequent, #victim, #club, #beverage, #minute, #dollar, #track, #purchases, #sell, #data, #colleagues, #stores, #customer, #servey

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man with red apron: would you like to join our frequent victims club? dilbert: no, i just want to buy this beverage. man: you could save a dollar if you join now. it only takes a minute. dilbert: i don't want you tracking my purchases and selling my data. man: i you don't sign up, my colleagues and i will pester you to do it every time you try to buy something. dilbert: i'll take my business elsewhere! man: no. you won't. because other stores are just as bad as we are. dilbert: i am not a victim! man: tell that to the customer survey i'm about to pester you into doing.

Workplace Injuries

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Workplace Injuries - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #meeting, #video call, #workplace, #injury, #reduce, #work from home, #security, #guard, #hurt, #back, #steal, #office equipment

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boss on video call. boss: i'm proud to announce we reduced workplace injuries by 76% this past year. voice from laptop: we all worked from home this year. shouldn't we have seen a 100% reduction? boss: our security guard kept hurting his back stealing office equipment.

Cut Pay For No Commute

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Cut Pay For No Commute - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #commute, #employment, #wages, #reduce, #pocket, #stealing, #prison, #innocent, #laptop, #coffee

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dilbert and boss on video call. boss: i've decided to reduce your pay because you no longer commute. when you pocket those savings, it is as if you are stealing from the company. dilbert: actually, it isn't like that at all. boss: everyone in prison says they're innocent too.

Dna Says Wally Will Steal

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Dna Says Wally Will Steal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #psychology, #dna, #steal, #office supplies, #junk, #science, #experts, #listen

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Catbert: wally, according to your dna, the odds of you stealing office supplies later this week are nearly 100%. wally: that sounds like junk science. catbert to boss: he refuses to listen to experts.