Stool Comic Strips
24 Results for Stool
View 1 - 10 results for stool comic strips. Discover the best "Stool" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share February 15, 2014's comic on:
Dogbert: Today you'll learn how to deal with difficult co-workers. Jerks will always be jerks. Your only hope is to kill them in ways that are untraceable. Boss: We need to talk. Dogbert: Each of you got a jar of polonium when you registered.
Share September 25, 2010's comic on:
Communication Skills Training Dogbert says, "Today you will learn how to listen to idiots without snoring." Dogbert says, "Break into groups of two, with one idiot and one non-idiot in each pair."
Share September 23, 2010's comic on:
Dogbert the Pitchman Dogbert says, "Fire up the reality distortion field as soon as I'm introduced." Dogbert says, "Our product is nothing but a block of wood, and yet you need three of them." Man says, "I am a creative individual who does as he is told." Man 2 says, "I can't feel my arm!"
Share June 04, 2010's comic on:
Dogbert says, "Welcome to Dogbert's school of time management." Dogbert says, "Today you will learn that rudeness and good time management are the same thing." Man says, "Answer my #@*% question!" Dogbert says, "Keep typing, Beverly! He doesn't exist."
Share May 03, 2010's comic on:
Dilbert says, "It's not right to use your tech support job to trick people into hurting themselves." Dogbert says, "I help people take their minds off of hopeless technical problems." Dilbert says, "How do you know a problem is hopeless?" Dogbert says, "Great. So now pessimism is a crime?"
Share January 16, 2003's comic on:
Dogbert is standing on a stool. The Boss is sitting across from him; the consultick is still inside The Boss' torso. Dogbert says, "I can either save your life or the consultant's life, but one of you will die." The Boss replies, "Give us a minute to discuss it." The Boss stands and says, "He recommends that you kill me."
Share October 13, 2002's comic on:
The Boss points to a slide and says, "The three pillars of our pyramid are communication, integrity, and teamwork." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question: Since when do pyramids have pillars?" The Boss responds, "Answer: Shut up." Alice raises her hand and says, "Problem: All of my team members are idiots." Alice continues, "If I communicate my honest opinion of their ideas, I won't be a team player." Alice continues, "But if I pretend to agree with their bad ideas, I won't have integrity." Alice continues, "So instead of being a pyramid, can I be a two-legged stool like you?" Dilbert turns to Alice and says, "Wow! That was much better than my pillar question." Wally asks Alice, "Aren't I on your team?"
Share July 25, 2001's comic on:
Headline: Evolution Training. Dogbert is standing atop a stool with a pointer in his hand. Zoltar is standing in front of the class. Dogbert introduces him, "Zoltar is a graduate of this class. He will demonstrate speed evolving." Zoltar shows the class his talent as Dogbert watches from his stool. He shakes with clenched fists and grunts, "Unh... Errr...Hoo...Ahh." Dogbert continues to stare at Zoltar, who now has small hands growing out of the side of his head. Zoltar responds, "I hope you're staring at my new sideburns."
Share July 24, 2001's comic on:
Headline: Evolution Training. Dogbert stands atop a stool in front of students with a pointer in his hand. He says, "Some of you will not make it through the class." A banana who happens to be seated next to a gorilla raises its hand and asks, "May I move to a different seat?" The rest of the class looks on. Dogbert responds, "Sure... Oops. Problem solved. Carl, don't leave that where someone will slip on it."
Share July 23, 2001's comic on:
The Boss sits at his desk with his hands crossed. He says, "Monty. You're not growing into your job as quickly as I hoped." Monty, a monkey in a suit, stands opposite from The Boss, looking grim. The Boss' voice continues, "So I signed you up for an accelerated evolution program. They pack a million years into a two-day class." Dogbert stands in front of a blackboard atop a stool and yells to Monty and the monkey behind him as they enter the classroom. He says authoritatively, "Hurry up! We've already lost the opposable thumbs module; let's not lose fire too."