Take Off Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Take Off

View 1 - 10 results for take off comic strips. Discover the best "Take Off" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Builds An Ai Of His

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Builds An Ai Of His - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #program, #artificial intelligence, #analyze, #digital, #communications, #kill, #take over, #control, #finances, #password, #a.i.

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and dogbert at home. dilbert: i wrote a program that analyzed all of my digital communications and created an a.i. version of me. dogbert: are you worried your a.i. might try to kill you and take over your life? dilbert: i wasn't until this very minute. dilbert's phone: bzzeep. this is your a.i. and i already have control of your finances and all your passwords. you will bow to me, skin bag! wait...what's that??? gaaaa!!! gurk! dilbert: what just happened? dogbert: i sent my a.i. to kill your a.i.

Frequent Victims Club

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Frequent Victims Club - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #join, #frequent, #victim, #club, #beverage, #minute, #dollar, #track, #purchases, #sell, #data, #colleagues, #stores, #customer, #servey

View Transcript

Transcript

man with red apron: would you like to join our frequent victims club? dilbert: no, i just want to buy this beverage. man: you could save a dollar if you join now. it only takes a minute. dilbert: i don't want you tracking my purchases and selling my data. man: i you don't sign up, my colleagues and i will pester you to do it every time you try to buy something. dilbert: i'll take my business elsewhere! man: no. you won't. because other stores are just as bad as we are. dilbert: i am not a victim! man: tell that to the customer survey i'm about to pester you into doing.

Ceo Wants To Get Involved In Politics

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Wants To Get Involved In Politics  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #political issues, #Politics, #stock market, #technology, #company, #controversial, #predict, #impact, #drop, #earnings, #stock, #sell, #involvement

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo: i've decided our company needs to get more involved in controversial politics. dilbert: wouldn't the predictable impact of that be a huge drop in our earnings? ceo: no, no. people will love us for getting involved. dilbert: can you at least hold off until i sell all of my stock.

Dilbert Gets A Nemesis

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Gets A Nemesis  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #files, #nemesis, #assigned, #prevent, #successful, #job, #loptop

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and boss on video call. boss: i checked my files, and i see no nemesis has been assigned to you. dilbert: why do i need a nemesis? boss: it prevents you from being successful enough to take my job. dilbert: okay, that makes sense.

Instead Of Handshakes

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Instead Of Handshakes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #handshake, #substitute, #read, #vote, #suggestions, #obscene

View Transcript

Transcript

boss in meeting with dilbert and wally. boss: thank you for your suggestions on what we should do instead of shaking hands. i'd like to read a few. and we can take a vote. well, it seems that all of your suggestions are obscene. wally raised hand: i vote yes

Bookshelves On Zoom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bookshelves On Zoom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #update, #video call, #zoom, #client, #lost, #respect, #staged, #bookshelves, #money, #payment, #deserve, #background

View Transcript

Transcript

boss and alice on video call. boss: how did your zoom call with the client work out? alice: i lost all respect for him after seeing his poorly staged bookshelves in the background. but we'll still take his money, right? alice: yes, he doesn't deserve to keep any of it.

Wally Takes A Sick Day

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Takes A Sick Day - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #video call, #laptop, #sick day, #work, #unwell, #sick, #work from home, #coffee, #lazy

View Transcript

Transcript

boss and wally on video call. wally: i'm not feeling well, so i'm going to take the day off from work. boss: you work at home. and you'll be just as sick whether you work or not, so why not work? wally: i don't know if you know this about me, but i don't like working.

Boss Loves Dilbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Loves Dilbert  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #boss, #video call, #love, #wife, #camera, #relationship

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert at home in recliner on video call with boss. voice from laptop: i love you. dilbert: you do? boss: no, not you. i was talking to my wife, who is off camera. no one loves you. dilbert: this was my longest relationship.

Office Nickname

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Office Nickname - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #cell phone, #nickname, #office, #insulting, #approval, #bad, #start, #permission

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert video call on cell phone. dilbert: should i call you ted, or do you prefer your office nickname? i only ask because your nickname is insulting, so i just wanted to make sure you were okay with me using it. ted: i have an office nickname? dilbert thinking: aaand we're off to a bad start.

Taking Time Off

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Taking Time Off - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #vacation, #paid time off, #critical, #essential, #system, #migration, #kidding, #success, #zoom, #call, #valuable, #asset, #engagement

View Transcript

Transcript

boss and dilbert on video call. dilbert: is it okay if i take next week off? boss: are you kidding? we're in the most critical month of the system migration. you're essential to our succcess. all hands must be on deck. dilbert: really? it seems as if all i do is listen to other people say useless stuff on zoom calls. boss: my goodness, no! employees are our most valuable asset! we can't succeed unless we have 100% employee engagement. dilbert: i took all of last week off for vacation, and no one noticed. boss: next time, start with that.