Talking To Customore Comic Strips

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262 Results for Talking To Customore

View 1 - 10 results for talking to customore comic strips. Discover the best "Talking To Customore" comics from Dilbert.com.

Talking During Zoom Call

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Loud Using Zoom

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Loud Using Zoom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #zoom, #mortgage, #loud, #noise, #calls, #war, #blackmail, #surprise, #laptop, #imagine

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dogbert: can you please stop talking so loudly on your zoom calls?!!! dilbert at home in front of laptop: i'm sorry, but i pay the mortgage, and i have a right to make as much noise as i want in my own house. dogbert: oh, wow. did you really play the "mortgage card" on me? dogbert: this is war! wait until you see what i do in the background of your next zoom call. i don't want to ruin the surprise, but think of the number-one worst thing you can imagine me doing. are you picturing it in your mind? it's bad isn't it? now imagine at the same time i also start doing the second-worst thing you can imagine. dilbert: noooo!!!!

Talking To Wally

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Talking To Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mental health, #office workers, #health, #alone time, #listen, #crazy, #hate, #talking, #fake, #empathy, #business, #coffee

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dilbert: dogbert doesn't believe me when i tell him i need more alone time for my mental health. wally: why would he listen to you when you're obviously crazy? dilbert: i hate talking to you. wally: should i fake more empathy.

Gaming The System

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Gaming The System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #decision, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #wrong, #believe, #system, #project

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boss: ted says you are making all the wrong technology decisions on your project. dilbert: why do you believe him? boss: because he's the last person i talked to. dilbert: but now you're talking to me. boss: stop trying to game the system.

Doing Nothing Is A Decision

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Doing Nothing Is A Decision - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #harsh, #hate, #lazy, #managers & supervisors, #progress, #projects, #sarcasm, #technology

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boss with laptop and on video chat: wally, it seems that once again you have made no progress on any of your projects. wally: it looks that way from the outside but what you have to understand is that not doing something is also a decision. boss: i literally hate talking to you. wally: harsh.

Read The Article

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Read The Article - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #article, #feedback, #time, #waste, #thoughts

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co-worker: can i get your thoughts on the article i emailed to you? dilbert: okay. my thoughts are that i don't want to waste my time reading any articles you send to me. co-worker: can you dive a bit deeper? dilbert: okay. i also don't like talking to you.

Yes Queen

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Yes Queen - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business people, #sarcasm, #value, #appreciation, #queen, #devalue

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asok: alice, i want you to know that i hear you and i value you. alice: that's terrific maybe you could stop talking to me in that super creepy and condescending way. asok: yes, queen. alice: who broke you?

Boss Ear Piece

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Boss Ear Piece - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #answers, #blockchain, #business, #ear piece, #evil, #ignorance, #managers & supervisors, #smart, #technology

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boss: later i have a meeting about blockchain and i don't understand anything about it. i'll be wearing this earpiece, and i want you to feed me smart lines. dilbert at home talking to dogbert: do you want to do something evil? dogbert: say no more. give me that.

Code Reuse

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Code Reuse - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #code, #reality, #reuse, #simulation, #software, #technology

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dilbert talking to dilbert: well, i knew this would happen sooner or later. you're an example of code reuse, which proves this reality is a software simulation. dilbert: technically, that's not a "proof." dilbert: hello, me!

Talk To The Experts

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Talk To The Experts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #answer, #bribe, #experts, #face mask, #faster, #managers & supervisors, #Opinion, #plan, #technology

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boss: i can't approve your plan until i know what the experts say. dilbert: i can save us some time by talking to the people who bribe the experts. i'll get the same answer, but faster. boss yelling: ouch! the truth hurts! dilbert: take a deep breath. it will pass.